Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Darn, Wrong Meme

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

16 April 2008

Darn, Wrong Meme

I've been tagged for my first meme! This means I have friends, people! Problem is, I was hoping to be tagged for a different meme. Oh well, nevermind.

Mommastantrum said it so well: "I've been tagged for a meme and since I want all my new friends to keep playing with me after school I'm going to suck it up and do it."

Then she said I had to write Five Classes You Wish They'd Taught In School, said wishfully that she hoped they didn't involve parasites! Oooh, tough one. Let's see how I go, hey?

1. How to keep the layers of a sponge cake together in transit
2. Managing a plastics fire in your oven
3. Cooking under pressure: how to make a roast dinner with a child attached to your leg
4. Strategies for avoiding Tupperware parties, cosmetic parties, bookselling parties, lingerie parties, linen parties, candle parties and beading parties.
5. Recognising items that must be thrown away after use.

My school didn't teach these things. I had to work them out for myself. My school did however teach me:

1. Matrices and vectors
2. Titration
3. Conjugating French irregular verbs
4. Imaginary numbers
5. What the inside of a frog looks like

None of which I remember today.

Now I really was hoping to get tagged for the meme in which you post 5 pictures each with 5 words of description. I was lying in bed last night dreaming this up ...

Zis relevant to mah interests.

But by doze wuz ruddig.

Where DID that gecko go?

You'd think butter wouldn't melt ...

"No, No, NOOO!!!" - "Sowwy, Mummy."

1 comments:

Nauntie Lush said...: I love them both!! Too fun!!

And I am glad that you recognized that you need help with the "throwing things away" thing. The baby is the PROOF of the pregnancy.; 17 April, 2008 02:41

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.