10 April 2008

Light at the end of the tunnel extinguished

It started with sunshine. Good! I'll wash the woollen doona!


By midday it was bucketing down. I put the doona in the washing machine to spin it. It put the machine badly out of balance and frightened the kids. I took it out and draped it over some spare space in the cluttered house. It sits damply there now, smelling like sixteen wet sheep.

I received some very bad news today that was so bad I can't blog it just yet. It was eerily similar to the worst of the ghastly events posted on 11th October 2007. Yes, THAT. The event that scarred me so deeply that I began blogging. And all about a stupid dog.

I was dealing with the stress of The Ghastly Thing by pottering around the house when I smelled a strong smell. That can never be good.

First let me say that saving a used pregnancy test is a silly thing to do. A baby is the best proof of a positive pregnancy test. You don't need to be saving something you peed on two years ago. That is gross. Don't do it. Besides, kids can do weird things with objects they're not familiar with. And sunscreen makes a good paint.

Canvases are everywhere for the artistic child...So that was slightly bad. I was filling a bucket with warm soapy water when I received a phone call in relation to That Which I Don't Want To Talk About Yet. Sonny Ma-Jiminy and Smoochy Girl were being too loud so I took the phone into another room to talk. When I came out, I saw that Sonny Ma-Jiminy had become bored and "re-organised" Daddy's clothes which had been neatly stored in those jolly cardboard boxes that are our chest-of-drawers until the bed bug problem is 100% sorted out.Never leave it there. Always look further.

Did I mention that it had just been raining hard?

So what have we learned?
1. It will rain if you put something difficult-to-dry on the line.
2. The smell of sixteen wet sheep is not good.
3. In fact, even if it reminds you of the beach, any strong smell is bad and it is your cue to run fast. Preferably, run AWAY fast.
4. No matter how happy you are about a positive pregnancy test, you must throw the thing out after use.

And yes, despite what I've told you today, I was happy about the positive pregnancy test, and I would be again. No wisecracks about that. I love these crazy kids.

But maybe not the dog.



Anonymous said...

Oh you poor thing! I must admit that I am a little wary of adopting my mum's 'you should have known better' rationale for discipline of my hypothetical kids. (Unless there had been a really similar example that a simple precept 'we don't throw mummy & daddy's stuff around' was blantantly obvious to a three year old).

However, I think that on a day like this, causing as much extra washing as this, straight-out 'you should have been able to work out that this was not in any way, shape, or form even mildly related to acceptable behaviour' discipline of the sternest sort would be justified... After sitting down and having a good cry.

I hope your days are getting better. Have you tried expending puppity doggity's extra energy by siccing her onto the 16 wet sheep in the cluttered house? It might solve multiple problems - calm her down and help them dry faster!


Givinya De Elba said...

Apparently he should not have got a smack because, "it hurt me." The fact that IT HURTS AND THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT seems to be beyond him.

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, I might just have 7 bulls and 7 rams handy.

Just Wondering

mommastantrum said...

OH NO I think I just peed my pants, and all at your expense.

I guess you can be glad that Sonny didn't poop on the walkway?!?

I love the pregnancy test artwork. You need to have that to show his fiance someday.

And all the woolen bedding needs to go to charity and quickly. You should get something synthetic that you can dry in the dryer. It will be one less thing to stress about.

And no one likes their dogs. All they do is puke and poop in the wrong places, and turn your lovely back yard into a turd farm.

Givinya De Elba said...

Yeah, so far all the poo has been in pants. Easier to clean. (BTW, did your poop problems really just finish all like *that*? Like, one day you're blogging about Ass Juice and the next, all good? Wow.)

You really think the woollens have to go? They've been washed in really hot water, dried in a really hot dryer, no evidence of any bugs at all on them, but still? I mean I'm open to anything...