A Letter To My Bank

ANZ – Consumer Finance
Locked Bag 10
Collins Street West Vic 8007

To whom it may concern,

I received your recent letter dated 17 April 2008 regarding the possibility of a credit limit increase on my ANZ Gold Credit Card. Your letter follows this series of prior communication between you and me:

• The first letter you sent me asking if I would like an increase, which I didn’t answer because I did not require a credit limit increase
• The first phone call you made to me asking if I would like an increase, during which I stated that I did not require a credit limit increase
• The second letter you sent me asking again if I would like an increase, which I didn’t answer because I still did not require a credit limit increase
• The second phone call you made to me asking again if I would like an increase, during which I stated that I still did not require a credit limit increase
• The third letter you sent me asking again if I would like an increase, which I didn’t answer because I still did not require a credit limit increase
• The third phone call you made to me asking again if I would like an increase, during which I stated that I still did not require a credit limit increase. During this phone call, I detailed our past correspondence as outlined in dot points above, and your operator assured me that you understood that I did not require any more letters or phone calls to clarify whether in fact I did or did not require a credit limit increase.
• The fourth letter you sent me asking again if I would like an increase, which I didn’t answer because I still did not require a credit limit increase
• The fifth letter you sent me asking again if I would like an increase, which I didn’t answer because I still did not require a credit limit increase. Following this, I wrote a letter to you and sent it to the above address. The content was startlingly similar to this letter you are currently reading. (I wonder what happened to it? Perhaps it ended up on an office noticeboard? Pinned to the back of a toilet door to provide humour during tedious moments?)
• The sixth letter you sent me asking again if I would like an increase, which I didn’t answer because I still did not require a credit limit increase
• The seventh and current letter you sent me asking again if I would like an increase, which I am now answering by mail to reassure you that I still do not require a credit limit increase.

The simple fact is this: I DO NOT REQUIRE A CREDIT LIMIT INCREASE.

Should you require any further clarification on the matter of whether or not I require a credit limit increase, please feel free to contact me again with a specific request and I will be happy to provide you with maps, diagrams, and if necessary a PowerPoint display explaining the fact highlighted in large red lettering above.

Thanks again for your continued concern regarding my possible need for a credit limit increase.

Yours,
etc.