Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Chicken Dreams

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

20 April 2008

Chicken Dreams

Last night I dreamed a man dressed in a giant chicken suit offered me a huge novelty cheque if I could sew an elastic loop onto his hat. I told him I couldn't do it because I didn't have a needle and thread on me. He then squatted down and laid an enormous egg which cracked open and hundreds of bed bugs came out and started crawling into the sheets we'd brought for Sonny Ma-Jiminy to have his rest on at kindy.

Save me now.

3 comments:

Swift Jan said...: What a horrid dream!!! It sounds like you need a get away! ((hugs)); 21 April, 2008 10:17
Anonymous said...: Are you certain that the blogging is helping?

After all, if you don't blog it, it doesn't exist...; 21 April, 2008 15:24
Givinya De Elba said...: Well yes you make a good point there. But it's worth it if one day you're looking for a picture to put on your blog and a google image search comes up with a picture of a person in a chicken suit holding a giant novelty cheque.; 21 April, 2008 22:21

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

20 April 2008

Chicken Dreams

3 comments: