I was thinking to myself, "Hey, how about I write a blog post?" Then I thought, "Nah." Then I made myself a coffee.
06 March 2014
04 January 2014
I've read a few posts around the internet recently that list a number of "life hacks" - great ideas that perhaps we hadn't thought of and that would make life a lot easier.
Some of them are great, and I would certainly consider doing them myself. Here are six that I thought were good:
|Especially awesome if thieves don't rattle your lotion bottles.|
And really - why would they?
|That last bit doesn't fool me. But yes, good idea.|
|I'd do this if I ever started eating bagels.|
|And, presumably, actually unsubscribe from each sender.|
But I liked the filtering term. Clever.
|Cat, baby, same thing ...|
|Already tried this one.|
Too much water and it's like a rock that won't melt.
Not enough and it's not actually cold.
Which is a minimum standard in an ice pack, I find.
Some of these lists contain things I already do, like these:
|Basic geometry of bread coverage|
|Have been doing this for years.|
|Usually when I put my bag on the floor at a restaurant.|
|I'm sure there's a law against this. |
There's a law against everything.
But I do it.
|A rolled-up towel is softer, but whaddoIknow?|
|5c, 10c and 20c coins work pretty well, but whaddoIknow?|
And if you ruin your iPad charger plug, that'll cost you a lot more
than ruining a 5 cent coin!
|"Tired of ruining hanger after hanger in the pursuit of an easy|
chip-packet-closing idea? Try a clothes peg instead!!"
That's like a life hack ... for this life hack!
And then there are the life hacks that make you look at the computer screen with your head on one side and say, "Whyyyy??? Whyy would you even do that?"
Sorry - maybe you have done these. Maybe you think they're great. Maybe you submitted them to Buzzfeed in the first place? Clearly, I'm still learning how the world works.
Here are some examples that have exploded my mind:
|I thought this was crazy. But I'll try to remember it for the next time|
I have a "hard-to-reach candle." Then I'll be bustin' out the spaghetti.
|Look at this poor guy. He knows you don't trust him.|
It's a fact that 70% of the things you lend will not come back to you.
But by doing this, you're likely to lose 90% of your friends too.
|Except the one problem that you get |
when your shoe and cup fall over together.
|Not sure about your hanging space, but it's the real estate below the hanger hook|
that's in high demand. The hooks aren't exactly squeezing each other out.
It's the bulk of my 7 winter coats that's the problem.
|CAN'T find kindling - CAN find Doritos.|
This is a problem? Okay then. Consider me educated.
|So this was funny. I thought that this life hack ...|
|... would suggest that this one was pretty much Not To Be Done.|
But again, whaddoIknow? What do you think? Clever life hacks? Or the silly product of a brainstorming session gone wrong? Too many pictures on one blog post? Is staying up past midnight to write blog posts (given that I will be up again at 6:00am) just a little bit pointless? I'd love to hear your opinions.
03 January 2014
Hel-LO all you wonderful people! All three of you! I hope you had a scintillating Christmas and a beautiful New Year! Apparently one of my resolutions is to use flamboyant, lesser-used adjectives in 2014, and so far, my writing is turning out quite odd.
I check in here at Killing A Fly every now and then to see if anything new has popped up here, but it never has and so I assume it never will unless I have something to do with it. This is depressing, as I don't want to have anything to do with it for the many reasons which I have typed out and will now delete because they're boring. It's basically a description of my technical incompetence.
Rex mostly walks now, after spending months trying to decide if walking or crawling suited him better. He wanders around the house quietly calling "Mem-meh" which means he needs me, or "Dedd-deh" meaning he will go to Mr de Elba and then decide he needs me.
Woody is four and a half, and getting pretty cool. He loves maps, particularly the weather map, or "Wevver-nap" as he calls it. He loves getting the weather radar on my iPad and telling me if it looks rainy or not. He wants to be a Wevver Man when he grows up, which sounds pretty appropriate to me, so go for it, I say. Here he is watching the recent cyclone as it crossed the Western Australian coast.
Woody is currently struggling with having his older siblings around all the time. Having them around at all, in fact. He's doing a lot of yelling and shouting, and we're pulling out all stops to try to discourage him from flaring up all the time. But he remains my best helper when I'm hanging out washing or folding clothes. The little champion.
Buzz and Woody finished eating and moved down towards the water's edge to play while Jessie stayed up at the tables with us, too terrified of the seagulls to move. Mr de Elba took some leftover fish and threw it down towards where the boys were. Not much. And there weren't many seagulls. Until he threw it.
What had previously been about 15-20 seagulls squabbling over the boys' chips in a really-not-all-that-vicious way had become a mega-flock of about 60 angry seagulls who darted en masse towards the leftover fish, shrieking at each other in what I can only describe as a "vicious" manner. The boys who both love animals (and birds in particular) lost their minds, and ran around screaming for a bit. Once they saw the seagulls were after the fish and not them, they laughed and returned to watch the birds feeding, but for one embarrassing minute, it appeared to the casual observer (of which there were a few) that a father had incited a flock of angry birds to peck his terrified sons to death.
And it only happened in the first place because Jessie had seemed inconsolable because of the proximity of about 10 seagulls. We decided that parenthood is so easy and we're so good at it.
Long story short: Bought a tent - set up the tent - Mr de Elba, Buzz and Woody spent a night in the tent - Jessie distraught because she wasn't allowed because she was sick - the next night all three big kids were allowed to sleep outside but Mr de Elba was staying up late tidying the study soooo .... I decided I should take one for the team and have my turn. Above is a little bit of the chaos that occurred before baby Rex was sent to bed, and below ...
... is the chaos that occurred after Bullseye came by saying, "Pleeease may I come in your tennnnt?" and I just said "Yeahsurefinerightwhateverknockyourselfout" before I'd really thought it through. I sent her out soon after that, to stand guard and kill any snakes. Not that we've ever had one in the yard, but I have quite a phobia of them, and felt more comfortable with Bullseye outside, not just because when she was inside, she was sitting on my arm.
Okay, one more:
01 November 2013
I've been on a bit of an Australian Bush Poetry binge recently. (I haven't been on a similar blog-writing binge, but you knew that already.) It started with a poem I wrote as a competition entry but there was more in the tank after I'd finished, so I kept on writing.
Do you remember Banjo Paterson's poem Clancy of the Overflow? It starts with the writer sending a letter to Clancy's last known address but receiving a return letter that Clancy has gone droving in Queensland and couldn't be contacted. That inspired me to write this parody about trying to contact Clancy in a digital age and coming up dry.
10 October 2013
Initially when I saw the ABC Local Radio's competition to win 50 books by localising literature, I didn't think I had an entry. The idea was to take a classic piece of literature and localise it - make it about Queensland.
I thought the examples they gave were pretty good, but I didn't have any ideas for localising the title of a classic. However once it was pointed out to me that you could write a poem, I knew what I had to do.
There's a great Australian Bush Poem by Banjo Paterson that many Aussies would know called "The Man From Ironbark" which was begging to be parodied. It's about a bloke from the bush who comes to the big smoke and gets a new style - a beard shave that goes horribly wrong. Upping the ante, my protagonist went one further.
To my massive shock and surprise, the ABC didn't disqualify me on the grounds of "Anatomical Terms Some Of Our Listeners Won't Have Heard," and I won the 50 books!
Here is a frightening example of my accent, for the enjoyment of Heather. I did broaden it a little for the bush poetry, but probably not enough. I still sounded like a city girl instead of a rugged bush balladeer.
21 July 2013
This is Zeffwee. Well, I think it's supposed to be Jeffrey but it certainly sounds like Zeffwee when Woody says it. And this isn't Woody, it's Rex, sorry that's confusing.
20 July 2013