05 September 2008

What did I put through the wash?

A rolled-up newspaper.

Sorry to disappoint you, that wasn't half as interesting as you all thought. I have no pictures to show you because we now don't own any cameras after the burglary last week.

I thought it was a pretty awful thing to wash because it made a mess similar to the horrible disposable nappy incident of 2006, but with the added mystery of "What's this long round heavy soggy thing at the bottom of this pile of cloudy snowy wet clothes?"

But I stand corrected. Your suggestions showed me that there are various other items that are much more bizarre to wash and/or can a make a more horrific mess.

Sometimes I forget there's anyone out there listening. Then I idly ask a question and get a flood of replies or suggestions and I realise that there are quite a few bloggy friends of mine out there, most of whom I've never met in person but who enjoy reading my silly meanderings enough to put some thought into what I might have washed.

And your suggestions had me laughing out loud! The list was long so I tried to put them in some order, but they were so random that there wasn't any point trying to order them. In honour of their randomness, I have put them in reverse alphabetical and here they are:

wheat heat pack
tube of toothpaste
tootsie rolls
toilet paper
the toilet brush
something feathery
Puppity Dog (I wish) (kidding!)
permanent marker (gasp)
PB&J, though I'm really hoping you guys don't have small pets... (this comment had me rolling on my keyboard laughing.)
paper towels
paint pots
one of those stuffed animals filled with those little bitty white balls
old cheese (any cheese)
magic marker
kidney beans
ketchup packets
ink pen
glue bottle
cotton wool
chewing gum
candy of some kind
bubble gum
a sucker
a barrier contraceptive device (what a thought.)

So obviously Mum-me wins the Prestige Of Winning with her suggestions of toilet paper and paper towels, provided she meant large rolls of the stuff.

I also loved your confessions about items you've washed. I thought I was the only one who wasn't 100% sure what's inside my machine once I set it to "Wash" (or "Macerate", in the case of Trojan paper products.) I feel so much better knowing that my friends have washed things like (alphabetical this time):
a baby monitor that didn't survive
a baby pillow that needed mending and got pillow fluff all over the place.
a gameboy (Wow! That’s gotta win some sort of prize!)
a number of cell phones
a pantyliner
ball point pens
child’s toy with those little bitty white balls
husband’s cell phone (heh!)
husband’s pocket knife (heh heh!)
husband’s wallet (har har haarr!)
money: spare change and paper bills
own drivers license
plenty of tissues
random pieces of paper
small toys
black permanent marker
toy cars

And I loved the story offered by Amanda:
I once blocked our washing machine when a breast pad went through into its innards. The washing machine repair guy was mystified as to what the object was - then highly embarrassed when I explained. I love making grown men blush!

So - want to share stories about things that make grown men blush? Or the items (animal, vegetable or mineral) that your dogs have chewed on? I can't wait to hear.


Adelaine said...

I missed the whole washing the newspaper in the midst of my crazy week :( I have one to add -

When I was pregnant with Uno, our hospital rented out pagers so a woman could page her spouse/sig. other when labor started. This was before we both had cell phones. You had to put a $50 deposit down on the pager and then would get that back when you returned it. Well, I washed it :( And it died :( We didn't get our $50 back.

Then things dogs have chewed on -

When I was growing up we had a beagle named Jake. Jake LOVED used feminine products. If I put a used one in the bathroom trashcan, he could get it out, take it out into full view of everyone, and rip it to shreds. So needless to say, when it was that time of the month, I would make a trip to the kitchen trash can that had a lid on it several times a day. Gross, eh?

Schmutzie said...

You're being featured on Five Star Friday:

Heather of the EO said...

cool five star friday thing.

Um, one time I was unloading groceries from my car. I looked across the street and saw my oldish (okay, he was totally old, now deceased) neighbor lying on the ground next to his car. The door was open. He wasn't moving. I dropped my bags and ran (quickly) across the street, trying to remember CPR. I got down next to him and yelled his name (loudly) next to his head. He turned and looked at me and said, "what?" in a somewhat shocked manner. I said, oh, you seemed to be hurt or something. He said, "no, I'm just working on my car" and sort of sheepishly grinned and turned away. oops. Sorry. I don't think he was all that flattered to be assumed dead.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I like to go to the store and load up on tampons and ONLY tampons and then pick the male clerk check out isle... I like watching them try to scan the boxes without actually touching them.

Maternal Mirth said...

Once, while visting Dummy at his office, I changed Peanut on the sofa in the company's billionaire owner's sofa. His secretary gave me permission since it was the only PRIVATE sofa or soft, flat surface on which to change my poopy child.

I set the dirty diaper in the baby bag, but while picking up my daughter and grabing the bag, the diaper rolled out.

I closed the door and the next morning when the owner came in for his 15 minute work day, he had the olfactory pleasure of stanky diaper greeting him.

Thank God that man thinks the world of both Dummy and I ... that and he has kids/grandkids of his own so he understood... sorta.

Crazy Sister said...

Those are all hilarious stories! Hot Tub Lizzie, you are evil! My story - I went to the hardware store a few moths ago and told a young salesman,

"I need an extension for the (make a clicking, ratcheting noise with tongue) spanner so that it's long enough to take out the agitator of the washing machine so I can vacuum out all the gravel."

To his credit, once he stopped laughing he figured out what I needed and now I'm the queen of minor washing machine maintenance.

Jen said...

those are great stories. I wish that I could add one but my mind is not coming up with any right now.

Heather said...

I've never killed my washing machine with anything (yet) but I did kill our dryer with one of my bras! Believing as my Hubby (who does 95% of the weekly laundry in our house) does that lingerie bags are an unnecessary step in laundering, all of our clothes go into the washer and dryer sans bagging, unless it is one of the loads I'm doing. Well, one day I went to throw the load Hubby'd started in the washer before leaving for work into the dryer, and didn't bother collecting my bras and stuffing them in the lingerie bag first. And the dryer died.

Hubby spent HOURS trying to fix it, taking it apart as far as he dared go while ensuring he could still put it back together again. It still didn't work. The repair dude showed up the next day, took the dryer apart to such levels beyond Hubby's work the day before, and in the innermost workings of the dryer, came up with a little, smile-shaped piece of metal. This bit of metal had apparently worked its way to a spot from which it could short out the entire machine. Yes, it was underwire that had freed itself from one side of one of my bras. (So, okay, fine, it wasn't a "bit" of metal. It was actually rather large. I'm boobtastic, what can I say?)

The repair guy was horrified to have this burnt piece of metal in my hands when I identified what it was. Mwah ha ha. He finally managed to sputter out something along the lines of "at least it didn't start a fire...."

And you know what? Hubby STILL doesn't put my bras in a lingerie bag when he does the wash. Guess he likes living on the edge!


Gosh, I've washed all sorts of things. Don't feel bad!
My dogs have chewed on used maxi-pads (hey, you asked for it!), teh remote control (and ordered a pay-per-view event while chewing), socks, underwear, shoes, you name it really.

Mum-me said...

Wow I got the closest guess! That's the first bloggy quiz/competition thingy I have won.

Hey, I have six children so I am not really surprised at anything I find in the bottom of my washing machine. It's not always messy, just frequently.