Outwitting The Poo Police

There is one thing I never ever want to do.

They tell me I SHOULD do it. They tell me I will get in trouble if I DON'T do it.

But I never EVER want to do it.

Ever.

I just blanch at the thought of picking up my dog's poo in a plastic bag, and walking around with it.

It is one of the reasons I exercise Puppity Doggity by playing "Fetch" in the back yard and never take her out for walks. I just can't bear the thought of picking up the... ergh.

I want to tell you about a great idea I have had, an idea that should preclude me from ever having to pick up Puppity Doggity's poo in a plastic bag, and carry it home. Here's my idea.

Tell me: How many plastic bags would a reasonable person expect a dog-owner to carry with them on a walk? How many bags of poo would it be reasonable to see tied to the dog's lead? A rough guess?

I am thinking three. Nobody should really expect a dog-owner to take more than three plastic baggies with them on a walk, right?

And once each of those three bags is filled and tied to the lead, dangling down as a visible badge of responsible dog ownership, nobody should expect that if the dog hunches a fourth time in order to become considerably lighter, that the hapless dog owner should fill a fourth bag, and tie it onto the lead alongside the other three.

Right?

So my plan is simple. Before I take Puppity Doggity for a walk, I will take three plastic baggies and into each I will place a wet, brown sock. I will tie each one onto the lead, and then head off.

If she should stop and hunch over, and if we should be observed (by the Poo Police, I assume,) all I have to do is visibly admonish Puppity, gesture towards the three already-filled baggies hanging from the lead, and throw my hands up in dismay. And off we'll go.

No reasonable observer could be unhappy with that, could they?