Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Perhaps I should have worn a dress?

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

12 September 2008

Perhaps I should have worn a dress?

My Crazy Sister just reminded me of a very weird afternoon I had once when I was in college. I'm very tired, so I'll make this brief.

I was walking home at dusk when a man rode up beside me on a bicycle. We were rather close. He looked me straight in the eye and cheerfully greeted me, "Hello, Richard."

And it was then that I first suspected that I wasn't as attractive a woman as I initially thought.

Immediately following that, I walked into a thick cloud of gnats.

Surreal.

5 comments:

Lynda said...: Awwww, maybe he needed glasses?; 13 September, 2008 01:02
Jen said...: total craziness. I think that you need to go to bed.; 13 September, 2008 07:52
tinsenpup said...: My mother used to sticky tape a pink bow to my sister's head when she was a baby to avoid misunderstandings like this. Maybe you could try that. I don't think it's necessary though. I dare say the deficit lay with him and not your beautiful self.; 13 September, 2008 15:04
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Moments like that you don't forget.

Dementia may strike you in a few decades and you'll forget Sonny and Smoochy's names, but you'll tell anyone who'll listen,

"Did I ever tell you young folk about the time someone called me Richard right to my face and then I walked into a cloud of gnats?"; 13 September, 2008 21:36
Givinya De Elba said...: And people will just think I'm rambling about something that didn't actually happen.; 13 September, 2008 21:38

Post a Comment

(Click the links below for my Post Labels)

This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

12 September 2008

Perhaps I should have worn a dress?

5 comments: