03 May 2008

Stupid Injuries

Do you ever give yourself stupid injuries? Ones that you're embarrassed to tell people about because they're just too stupid? I do. Here are a few of my Stupid Injuries.

Smoochy Girl's hair is getting quite long and nylon-ey on the ends. A bit like a Barbie's hair, when it gets all yuck. I tried to overcome my fear of cutting family members' hair by putting her in the bath for easy cleanup, wetting the hair, combing it upwards, holding it between two fingers and snipping the ends off with my sharp haircutting scissors. (Why do I own haircutting scissors when I'm too afraid to cut anyone's hair?)

I was hoping Smoochy would hold still but instead, it was The Carnival Of The Animals. She lurched, I snipped hard and cut my finger. Stupid.

Now here's another one. Over the last few years I have hurt my thumb many times by bending it a little towards my palm and then sharply wrenching it away from the fingers. My doctor says it's called "Gamekeeper's Thumb." Being a bit low-tone with fairly lax joints doesn't help. Usually I hurt it when pulling covers up in the night.

Yesterday I did it VERY badly while drying my hands on a hand towel. I am not making this up. A Handtowel Injury. Sonny Ma-Jiminy was in the bath, Smoochy Girl was trying to get into the same bath fully clothed, and I was rolling on the floor groaning and holding my thumb because I HURT IT ON A HANDTOWEL. Stupid.

If that isn't stupid enough, here's another one. I keep things in weird places in my kitchen. I have to because the storage space is limited and illogical. For this reason, whenever I use the rice cooker I need to lift it down from its spot which is way up close to the ceiling. When I reach up to get it, I nearly split down one side it's that high up. One night I was easing it down when I felt the glass lid shift a little and then fall. So I looked up.

A second later I was seeing stars. I felt a bit woozy so I knelt down on the floor. Sonny Ma-Jiminy was asking what was wrong and I was moaning back "Mummy had a ... ooh-err ... ouchie-wa-wa ...." Stupid.

And for the ultimate in Stupid Injuries, I will leave you with a picture of my kitchen scissors.

88 comments:

mommastantrum said...

I got a concussion from the HOT AIR POPPER falling out of the pantry on my head.

I also required stitches in my hand for using the scissors improperly at Christmas and jamming them into the muscle in my hand!!

And Thomas the Tank Engine cut the sole of my foot and left me near paralyzed for months. My foot still isn't the same.

I have yet to have a handtowel injury...but I am sure it is not far off. Seeing how Stupid I have become from eating all that blue dye all these years.

Anonymous said...

I like the smell of lavender and I like the smell of fire so I set fire to some lavender and took a whiff. A burning piece flew up my nostril and lodged in that weird part of your sinus that's just under the tear duct of your eye and it's all I could smell for ages.

Crazy Sister

Anonymous said...

Happy SITS Day - enjoy being famous! But famous for what? - catching yourself in the chicken scissors! Hey, I'm a good friend of that classy woman who does herself an injury with scissors ... Maybe I shouldn't really brag about that. Jen.

~Sheila~ said...

Congrats!

I totally loved that last one about pinching your nipple with the scissors. That is a good heads-up in case I decided to buy a pair.

P.S. I have lots of those days and those type of injuries.

Sheri said...

I'm pretty sure the "pinching your nipple" isn't on the warning label! Thanks for preventing future injuries!

SBelle said...

Congratulations...I'm going to be very careful with scissors today as I am very susceptible to the power of suggestion.

trashalou said...

Oh nipple scissors? We've all been there......

Crazy Momma said...

Yowza! I am glad you were able to share about your stupid injuries for our amusement :)

Heather said...

I share your inclination towards stupid injuries, so I was a bit nonplussed when my Christmas stocking last year contained a pair of the same, exact, damaging-to-the-boobage-area scissors illustrated in that photo. My dad is the one in sole charge of filling the Christmas stockings, and between the pinching potential and the general "blades of destruction, now with extra sharp and pointy bits on the handle!" appearance of them, I was shocked.

I won't admit to injuring my boobage area with them. Nope, I won't. You can't make me. *whistling* :D

Cheers!

wendy said...

Good Morning, SITSta! Congrats on your day.

I'm sorry to laugh at your injuries but they are funny (mostly because I've done so many similar things)!

Caroline said...

Those were great. I particularly loved the last one...ouch.

Jaci said...

Those scissors look wicked. Ouch.

Me said...

I actually have scars on one hand from lifting the milk out of the refrigerator door too quickly (not realizing how empty it was and using too much force). The only time I had stitches was from cutting my hand with a pair of scissors. All my other injuries were cooking related, stumped toes or brother-induced.

EmBee said...

Ooo nipple pinches... Ouch! That had to hurt but I know we'd both be laughing hysterically if we were standing next to each other when you did it! So there you go, imagine standing there with your virtual girlfriend giggling away.

As for me, I keep running my thigh into the arm of the same damn sofa in our family room. I've pretty much created two, ever present, giant bruises in the same spot on both thighs... Now THAT'S STUPID!

Amy said...

Congrats on being featured on SITS!

Perez Family Spot said...

OUCH! Nipple pinching scissors must really hurt! I love the "things I hate" list! Especially kids pressing on you while you're cooking!! I KNOW wht you mean! Why do they bother us only when we are busy?

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Oh I'm SO glad I'm not the only one. I may be inspired to blog about my indicents today...

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Oh I'm SO glad I'm not the only one. I may be inspired to blog about my indicents today...

Tracy P. said...

Oh my, you only had two comments on this to begin with--I'm so glad it finally got the attention it deserved. Just got done reading your sidebar, and I LOVE it. We CAN be real without being whiney! I am laughing so hard over here. :-)

Sherri said...

Congrats Saucy Sister!!! I love you blog!!

Jen said...

I too really dislike stupid injuries. Every time I cut myself while chopping veggies or stuff for dinner, it just pisses me off. I have been cutting and making dinner for how many years and I still manage to cut my finger? What gives? Maybe I should just go on a cooking strike.

angie said...

Oh NO about the scissors......at least they were the pinch end, not the snip end. I think you are the only person I've ever met that has a hand towel injury. Wait......I've never met you. Never mind.

Jyll said...

Congrats on your bloggy lovin' day! Be careful today...no silly accidents for you! I bruised the bottom of my foot trying to climb in the boat all teasingly in front of my fiance!

Vicki said...

Those other injuries are funny (sorry) but the scissors! OMG, did you pinch off your nipple?!?! Thanks for the warning, I will now be more cautious with the blunt end.

Caution said...

That was wonderful - not the injuries, of course! What's so sad is that I really get what you're saying!

Peggy said...

You aren't alone. I've done the hand towel thing too, squeezing too hard to get my hands dry that I almost break fingers. Yeah, stupid.

Melanie said...

I totally understand your woes. I am as clumsy as they come.

mrsbear0309 said...

The kitchen scissors picture was hilarious. I once sliced my finger open cutting a frozen bagel, so bad I needed stitches. As I was cutting downwards toward my finger, I thought to myself, "self, this is probably not a good idea", then zip. I did get to miss a whole day of work though, so that's a plus!

Kristen said...

Oh man! That sounds awful! Love the scissor picture :-)

Molly said...

Those scissors are scary!!!

sassy stephanie said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning! Glad to see I'm not the only one!

Party of 5 said...

I was reading along...just feeling your pain when all of a sudden....laughter. "pinch your nipple" ROFL

Congrats on your feature.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

We should just have our own club...that has happened to me too many times to even count...I'm especially good at the "hey what happened to you there?" to which my reply is..."uh, I don't know"

Karen said...

I have a pair of kitchen scissors, that look like the one in the photo...thanks for the heads up ! My nipples and those scissors are going to stay a respectable distance from each other.

I get bizarre injuries as well. I broke a toe when I caught it on the edge of the kitchen island, as I was walking around it. It was thetoe that sits next to my big toe and I'm sytil not sure how I caught that particular toe.

Karen said...

I've done so many stupid things like that! My husband laughs all the time at me.

Dana said...

Those scissors are vicious weapons! I too, injure myself in weird ways....I once ripped off a finger tip riding on a water department trolley that was clearly marked "No tresspassing" BUT, it was unlocked and looked like such fun. I was only 18 at the time and it was a blast until my hand went through the pulley system and my fingertip was wrenched off. The docs sewed it back on but it's never been right since. My fingers on that hand are very crooked and ugly.

Val said...

Happy SITS day! Enjoying your blog!

lemonologie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lemonologie said...

Love your blog name! Congrats for SITS!

I too am a master at the bizarre injuries. One example: I once had an earring back stuck in my ear canal. (The whole story is here.)

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Okay, that is too funny. Ha ha ha. Thanks for sharing your stupid moments with us, your SITStas!

Ashley said...

Ahh, stupid injuries. When I was younger my friends and I would always have mock horse shows where we pretended to be show horses. I can't tell you how many times we all sprained our ankles. Ouch it hurt!

Jenni said...

I almost fell off my chair laughing at that last picture and accompanying injury!

Simply Stork said...

how funny...I think they go along with the snipped tip of my finger due to a 'scrapbooking injury' or the stubbed toe I recieved from the 'walking down the hall injury' or the infamous 'dishwasher injury' where I scrape my shin every single time try to get around the edge of the darn thing...arg...

my family thinks I am accident prone...I just say I'm 'life' prone :o)

~simply stork~

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Pinched nipples - I can empathize with that one. Ouch.

Creative Junkie said...

ROTF at your bottom photo! This post cracked me up. I have lots of stupid injuries but they mostly stem from doing laundry which is why I am trying to start a movement in my house whereby I never do laundry again. We'll see if it works.

Karol said...

Lol...I'm the queen of those! I just got one the other day! I was getting into my little honda civic and my right knee ended up taking on the window handle-lever thingy. Now I have this hidious bright purple bruise that hurts like hell. Fabulous.

*Congrats on the blogger of the day!

Jen Edwards said...

Definitely a new twist on the "purple nurple"!

We have a long history of "stupid injuries and such..

My great grandma used to say...
"Saddie, you better head for the round house, they can't corner you there!"

(No one's name was "Saddie")
Jen

Mary Anna said...

OK, I once squeezed the bejeezus out of my nipple with one of those Pampered Chef measuring cups that you turn one way to measure liquids and then pull out to measure solids. YEP! I was reassembling it while wearing my night gown (which was apparently not thick enough to protect previously said tender areas) and somehow I got pulled into it. It even cut me so I had to put a bandaid on it to prevent the bleeding from adding a new element of "What on earth did she do now?" to my life!

EmmaP said...

Glad you still have your nipples in tact!!! I once dropped a pound of frozen hamburger meat on my big toe and - yes - I broker my toe!!!

Ronnica said...

Cutting with those scissors is just asking for it!

I love the layout and the unusual blog name. Way to stand out!

scargosun said...

O
M
G
Those scissors! Nipple tweakers they are. I walk into door jams a lot. I am not sure if I am a klutz or maybe just off.

Michelle said...

oooo, I never thought about THAT danger of scissors, but you're so right. And umm I have the same thumb issue you do. I used to ride horses a lot before I got pregnant with Little Miss, and every once in awhile I'd manage to bend it in a weird way that would cause pain for awhile. Until I built up a tolerance for it and it rarely bothered me.

WheresMyAngels said...

LMBO. Would hate to do that to my nipples!! lol

Now I am kicing myself in the butt, cause I thought you were on my blog roll, now I have to go look.

Parker said...

OUCH. Nipple pinching accidents sound like the worst of all. Take care of yourself Miss Pretty.
HUGS,
Kat

Mama Dawg said...

Came via SITS and I have to tell you, I thought I was the only person that cut their nipple with the non-sharp part of the scissors. I've also gotten my thigh and my tummy fat this way. Don't ask, it's not pretty!

Cara Starr said...

i'm a klutz too. I used to have denial about it, but acceptance is pure bliss! (It's also great preventative care.)

Katy Lin :) said...

o.m.w.!!! that's hillarious! and comforting that i'm not the only klutz who has silly things like this happen :) happy SITS day!

~*Paty*~ said...

LOVE the last picture!

Stephanie said...

In college I sprained my ankle while chasing a shoe.

Yeah, you're not the only one.

Amy said...

Too funny! I hurt myself daily!

Jessica said...

OH MAN! OUCHIES all around. although I'm still trying to figure out the thumb one. the only serious bad injury I've had was a broken bone.

Kaza said...

Okay, ROTFLMAO on the scissors one. Glad you included a photo, without which I doubt the story would have made any sense (people are having enough trouble with the thumb thing, after all). I am the biggest klutz ever, so I'm constantly suffering ridiculous injuries. Somehow I can't think of a single one, but that's my usual deer-in-the-headlights reaction when asked to recall a story of any kind.

Hot Air said...

I have never clenched my abs and laughed so hard at the end of a blog.

Gina said...

That's hysterical about the pinching scissors and I can totally see that actually happening to someone= like ME!!!!
oh, my gosh!!
Be careful, lady!!!

At Home Redesigns said...

I've whacked myself in the face opening the freezer door...that's a tough one to explain. But the scissors take the cake...

Adiel said...

Oh my geez, you have quite the injury list! Are you accident prone! ;)
Those scissors look suspicious. It like they were designed to hurt people!

Apryll said...

oh my goodness! I am so injury prone I would have been afraid to have those scissors. That is totally something I would do!

Mommy Cracked said...

Oh my word! LOL!! You have quite the list there. I've noticed that since becoming a mom I get alot of stupif injuries, too. I blame it on mommy brain.

Kimberly said...

Seriously! I have been walking into walls and causing various other stupid injuries since I was really young. I totally understand the stupid injuries thing. Congrats on your feature!

Tiffany said...

I think I have had all of those.. escept the hand towel injury. I seem to have lost focus of the actually size of my body (mostly by behind) and will run into things. Super Cool, that's me.

Kelly said...

In honor of your blog I actually stabbed myself with my car key today and broke skin...thanks for the inspiration ;)

Mama's Losin' It said...

I'm just trying to envision how close one must stand to pinch ones nipples in a pair of scissor handles.

Good stuff!

Mrs4444 said...

Good God, Woman! Do NOT make bacon naked! (You'll have scars!)

Jules said...

And I thought that I was accident prone. I've decided that you win!

Lauren Horsley said...

Yikes! Thanks for the tip - I'm gonna stay far away from those scissors! After 3 babies who cut teeth early, my nipples have had all the abuse they can take!

Deanna said...

Came over from SITS a day late! But so so so very worth it!! I know exactly what gamekeeper's thumb is...my husband had surgery to correct his. And the scissors and nipple thing...yee-ouch!

Mamasphere said...

Oh my word, the whole nipple thing has me cringing! A good reminder for me to keep my bra on long enough to at least cook dinner (I usually take it off the second I walk in the door).

Rhea said...

You are a dangerous woman! The handtowel injury is definitely the first I've ever heard.

I managed to slice my thumb open doing dishes a few weeks ago and had to go to the emergency room. Just embarrassing!!

Nice to meet you!

Christie said...

These things happen to me all the time...nice to know I'm not alone!

AFRo said...

I'm a day late, but congratulations on being the featured blogger!!! It's exciting to say the least! I'm sure you will agree.

Judy Haley said...

i broke my finger while bowling

Jennifer P. said...

i have been so behind on my sits reading, but I'm glad I made it to this party! That was so funny!--I broke my tooth eating beef jerky once. Does that count?! :)

Gina said...

Funny. The hand towel was the best. I try not to look up, but I can never resist....

Tsosie and Peterson Bunch said...

I too would pinch things with the wrong end of those scissors. Loved reading your blog and will definately be back.

StitchinByTheLake said...

You're a very funny lady. I love the things you hate on the sidebar! What a great idea that is. Blessings, marlene

Mercedes said...

What is sad is that I have those same scissors and have done the same thing.

Kristinia - Loving Heart Mommy said...

Yeah I definately know how you feel, I tend to hurt myself on the dumbest things... especially in the kitchen! I run into the edges of the counter.. and I walk by those counters every day..

Found you on SITS! :)

kimmers said...

Congratulations on your day in the spotlight!

I am accident prone in the extreme... I'm famous for breaking things around the house... twice in 2 weeks I broke the showerhead trying to adjust the angle; I flooded the toilet trying to flush too much cat litter; THE DAY we had our hardwood floors installed I dropped a screwdriver and put the very first scratch into them...

I also tend to trip over anything and everything and I have a unique talent of falling UP flights of stairs pretty much any time I'm foolish enough to wear flip flops, clogs, or any other show that doesn't tie or strap onto my feet.