Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Dog Minus Tail, Plus Beard

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

27 May 2008

Dog Minus Tail, Plus Beard

I like beards on nobody except dogs. Here is a neighbour's dog with a great beard. I call him "Dean The Wonderdog."
He's great. This is because Puppity Doggity likes him. After a stressful few months when Puppity Doggity bit a few strangers' dogs and we came to the awful realisation that we had a 'problem dog', it's great to see her getting on well with another furry, licky, waggy (sort-of) friend.

She is still hyper-submissive to big dogs, hyper-aggressive to small dogs, and hyper-stupid with human visitors, but it's great to see her play nicely with Dean and continue to be a perfect pet with Sonny Ma-Jiminy and Smoochy Girl.

Still, she's bitten three unfamilar dogs now and therefore I'll never be able to fully trust her with any dog or even my kids.

But for the moment, she's playing nicely with Dean.

She must be a Beard Gal.

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

27 May 2008

Dog Minus Tail, Plus Beard

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