12 May 2008

Smoochy Girl's Pinup Boy

Smoochy Girl, like Sonny Ma-Jiminy before her, eats a lot. I mean, she eats a REAL LOT. On one hand, it's good not having to worry about getting food into her, but after a while I tend to wonder if there's some sort of problem. Why does she eat so much? Isn't the food touching the sides as it goes through her?

At this stage, there doesn't seem to be a problem. She's just a big eater. And like her brother, she is a tiny little pocket rocket with thin arms and legs and a huge head, and after meals she also has a gigantic swollen tummy threatening to spill its contents everywhere.

Breakfast is one of those meals when my kids eat like teenagers. The only breakfast cereal that I like them eating in such huge quantities and doesn't break the bank is the traditional Aussie favourite: Weet-Bix. It's relatively healthy, fairly cheap and which Aussie kid doesn't remember being excited about the Weet-Bix collector cards in the box?

Sonny Ma-Jiminy eats three Weet-Bixes which must be arranged in a pyramidal structure lying in a bed of muesli or he has a tantrum.

Smoochy Girl eats two Weet-Bixes which is still more than most Australian adults can chow down in a sitting. And I think that's a bit excessive. However when I call a halt after the two are eaten, she has a Sonny Ma-Jiminy-like tantrum and demands more, even if her tummy is swollen and huge and she starts crawling around the floor puking up bits of Weet-Bix and milk. She just loves to eat.

Currently, Sanatarium must have some sponsorship deal with the Australian cricket team. The current collectors cards feature the team members with some vital statistics that may or may not determine their inclusion or otherwise into the Australian squad. These crucial stats include the number of tests and One-Day Internationals played, wickets taken, sixes scored and catches taken. And of course, the clincher: How many Weet-Bixes each player eats for breakfast.

I notice from our recent haul of cards that Mark Waugh and Michael Bevan, both long-term players who are classed as "Legends" on the cards, eat four and five Weet-Bixes respectively. Good show.

Chris Rogers, a new inclusion into the Australian side, is sucking up to the selectors and evidently the sponsors by claiming to eat 9 Weet-Bixes. A huge effort.

But the player who has caught our attention is Brad Hogg. 37 years old, 1.83 metres tall, 117 tests/ODIs played, 153 wickets taken, five 'sixes' (big-scoring hits), 34 catches taken and, dum-da-dumm ...

Only Two Weet-Bixes For Breakfast!

That seems downright un-Australian.

But it's been helpful for me. I've stuck this collectors card up beside Smoochy Girl's high-chair and we now refer to it at the end of each breakfast time.

"Now Smoochy, look at Brad. He has two Weet-Bixes and then he stops. You can do that too. You've had two Weet-Bixes, and now you can stop too, just like Brad."

Every mealtime now she points to the card and says "Ba!" in between each mouthful.

And this is why at twelve months of age, along with 'Mum', 'Dad' and the names of her brother and the family dog, Smoochy Girl has the name 'Brad' in her vocabulary.


mommastantrum said...

Oh man...you are in for it. I think that maybe I should buy stock in the cereal company now, and some for my friends who are expecting for their baby shower gifts. Sure they won't appreciate it now...but in another year, they will totally get it at the check stand when the total for the 18th box of Cheerios and Shredded Wheat that month adds up to $900.

Thanks too for the linky love.

Anonymous said...

I think that is so cute, and made me laugh - but the pedantic proof-reader of professional presentations who lives in my head is really questioning the plural for Weet-Bix.

My gut is telling me that (like deer) Weet-Bix is both singular and plural.

My 2223 pages of Macquarie Dictionary (Supposedly 'Australia's National Dictionary') doesn't list it at all - What the?!?!?

Pam Peters' 'Australian English Style Guide' has huge descriptions of what happens to words ending in 'x'. But is 'Bix' from the Latin? If so is it an Anglicised word or scientific one? (Weet-Bices?) I'm guessing it's short for 'biscuit', but don't think that would make much of a difference except to rule out a Latin connection.

In the end I think you're probably right, but I will continue to stubbornly ingest my two 'Weet-Bix' for breakfast, and not waste the time ringing Sanatarium to check. (Although the card does say 'Number of Weet-Bix eaten for breakfast?' - not 'Weet-Bixes')

Givinya De Elba said...

If anyone was going to question the plural of "Weet-Bix" it would either be my brother or Jen. Yes. Thanks for that. I too have wondered over the years, but we have made an executive decision here and it's One Weet-Bix, Two Weet-Bixes. After that it's Three Weet-Bixes and ...vomit.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but there's some things that just stick in my head, so I had to share. I really am within a few short mouse clicks off getting on the Sanitarium site and asking the question. I'm so glad you're my friend despite all my little ... issues.

PS - Since looking all this up I have developed a fondness for the option Weet-Bices (even though I know it is most likely definitely wrong). It sounds cute, much the same as I favour spice as the plural of spouse.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing Andrew (Symonds) and Brad Haddin won't be two names Smoochy girl is learning? They claim to eat 10 each in a sitting...I'm thinking there was a lot of vomitting the day they sat down at challenged each other to a weet-bix eating competition.


Anonymous said...

Surely they couldn't have eaten ten. Although, my little kids eat four each, so it could be possible.

And why is it so hard to clean weet-bix once it's been wet then dried? It's stronger than cement. A friend of mine thinks they should coat space shuttles in it, to keep it intact for re-entry.
Then if a shuttle spins out of control, Andrew Symonds and Brad Haddin can save the world.

Givinya De Elba said...

Heh. Nice to read all your comments! Good to hear from you, SIL of CS, and also CS (Crazy Sister) herself!

I must dob in a certain pedant from higher in the list of commenters and say that thanks to her, the query regarding the plural of "Weet-Bix" has gone to THE CUSTOMER RELATIONS DEPARTMENT AT SANITARIUM and the following reply came back:

We get asked this question a lot. The plural of Weet Bix, is Weet Bix. If you have one or many it's (sic) stays Weet Bix.


Thanks for that. I actually remember my siblings saying one Weet-Bick; many Weet-Bix. Along with those staples of the savoury biscuit world: Jatz. One Jat, Many Jatz. Mmm, many many many Jatz, in my case. (See previous post on French Onion Dip.)

But I think that I will probably continue pluralising to Weet-Bixes, although Weet-Bices is growing on me!

wee bro said...

D'ARGH!!!! The ever-vigilant Jen beat me to it!!! (Easy to do this long after posting). As I read the post the pedant in me said "mff...hmph...(don't say it... you know how they don't like your pedant... icity... ism)..."

Then there was Jen's comment... and I thought "YESSS... There is another Skywalker!!!!! I am not alone!!"

I must apologise, then say I'm with Jen - expanding algebraically and collecting like terms: (One + many) x (sheep + fish + deer + Weet Bix). Unless you want to be The Godfather: "... eating the Weet Bixes, see?" Or you want to distribute loaves and Weet Bixes to the masses.

HOWEVER... "Weet Bixes" would indeed be the plural of "types (c.f. species) of Weet Bix":


This Australian English Style Guide sounds like required reading for the inner pedant.

Note (or more to the point, "Big Note"): I did 12 one lunchtime. I was hungry. Then I wasn't. And I said that it was good.

Wee Bro said...


The Weet Bix (or Weet Bick)-clad space shuttle makes more sense than any idea yet: NASA uses titanium bricks, while the Chinese use oak as an ablative.


- Weet Bix would coke like oak (there goes the poetry)
- MUCH cheaper to supply
- Easier (but messier)to apply
- Stick better (ref. Crazy Sister)
- Easier to streamline.


- People would laugh at the idea

An aeromechanical engineering gem. I think CS should sell that to NASA... or start her own space program... based on Weet Bix.

Givinya De Elba said...

Note to all my readers:

I have no idea what he said either.