Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Twelve Steps

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

12 May 2008

Twelve Steps

I remember on an episode of The Nanny once that as Fran Fine was planning to make some dips for a party, she whined, "Oh no, where will I buy a packet of french onion soup mix at this time of night?" Niles rolled his eyes and the audience laughed at Fran's deplorable sense of culinary style.

It surprised me because I've always loved french onion dip. Sorry if that's not posh enough for you. I love it. I don't allow myself to have it often but when I do, I eat far too much of it.

I didn't realise I was addicted until one night I was watching my kids playing together in the bath while I held a packet of biscuits between my knees and balanced a container of dip on the tray of the potty.

Yup. Time to stop.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...: What! supervising children bathing while under the influence of french onion dip?!!; 15 May, 2008 11:04

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

12 May 2008

Twelve Steps

1 comments: