Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Conspiracy

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

25 May 2008

Conspiracy

Smoochy Girl: Mum's looking good!

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Yeah, plenty of energy.

Smoochy Girl: I guess it's time we did something about that.

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Okay, what did you have in mind?

Smoochy Girl: I was thinking we could keep her up really late at night and then wake her up early in the morning.

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Good idea. And we could do Tag-Team Tantrrums the next day.

Smoochy Girl: You're a Thinker. Okay, how will we do this? I could do the early shift. Waking every hour from bedtime until 1:00am.

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Great! And I can wake up really early in the morning. I'm sure I will have a Nappy Buster or something.

Smoochy Girl: Nice. You got a plan for after you wake up?

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Oh, the usual noise in my room, then asking Mummy silly questions and I might follow it up by getting into the fridge and helping myself to that watermelon in there. Big mess, that sort of thing.

Smoochy Girl: Cool. It's a plan. You ready for Tag-Team Tantrums tomorrow?

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Sure! Okay, I'm off to sleep.

Smoochy Girl: And I'm off to sleep-wake-sleep-wake-sleep-wake-sleep.

Sonny Ma-Jiminy: Enjoy!

Smoochy Girl: Cheers!

3 comments:

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...: Hahahah, They do grow out of it, really.

Debbi; 25 May, 2008 13:21
Nauntie Lush said...: One word MELATONIN.

Hide it in their juice. They sleep all night. Which means you sleep all night.

It works for me!!; 25 May, 2008 16:20
musingwoman said...: Strategic little buggers, aren't they? :D

Hang in there!; 26 May, 2008 13:36

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.