Conversations at the end of the lane

Mum and I went to the pool yesterday.  I was taking advantage of a time when everyone else in my house was asleep except Nat.  I told Mr de Elba where I was going and snuck out so Nat wouldn't notice.  Upon returning, I was greatly "noticed" by Nat and the now-awake Anna-Lucia, and their disappointment upon seeing that I went to the pool without them and enjoyed myself hugely was a real downer.

So instead let me tell you about the fun Mum and I had doing laps.

At one point, an older man ambled towards some seats and proceeded to undress down to his swimmers.  Unfortunately for us, they were "Speedos", also known as "DT's" or "Budgie smugglers."  If you don't understand exactly what style of swimwear this is, check out the term on Urban Dictionary and see if there's a description that may help you understand.  Unless you have delicate sensibilities.  The Urban Dictionary is no respector of delicate sensibilities.

These particular Speedos were predominantly white.  Oh my, avert the eyes.  The gentleman came to swim in the lane next to the one Mum and I were doing laps in. So in order to pay him back for wearing his white budgie smugglers, we treated him to absurd conversations every time we finished a lap together.

Me: Yes, you were right!  There was only one bobby-pin down there!  I thought it was more!

Mum: No, there were two of them there!

Me: Really?  I thought there was only one and the rest were rusty spots from bobby-pins in the past.

Mum: No, there were two, and this time you have to tell me whether the two bobby pins and the linked paperclips on the bottom of the pool make an equilateral triangle or an isoceles triangle.

Me: Okay.  Off we go.

And then after the next few laps:

Me: Equilateral!

Mum: I thought so!  Now your next question:  See all that stuff on the bottom of the pool that looks like snail poo?

Me: Yes, I saw that!

Mum:  Well, can it really be snail poo?

Me: Err, no idea.

Mum:  Okay this time have a really good look.  And if it's not snail poo, tell me what you think it is.

Me:  Oh, I'm gonna have no idea.  Okay, off we go again.

And then next time:

Me:  No idea.  Probably snail poo.

Mum: Well, I thought it might be little pieces of the rubbery grout between the tiles.  Maybe it's come out and curled up on the floor of the pool?  That'd look a bit like snail poo.

Me:  Maybe you're right.  Anyway, I spent the time thinking, and I've come up with a solution to your tandoori salmon problem ...

And on and on we went.  I'm guessing most people say nothing, or they talk about swimming.  Meh.  How boring.