But frankly,
I'm getting a little sick of this rot:
I'm getting a little sick of this rot:
I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.
I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.
I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.
I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.
I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.
Buzz is the Superhero who saves my day. He is a faithful friend and brother, willing to lead his sidekicks into intergalactic adventures ... to infinity and beyond.
Jessie is a feisty cowgirl who knows her mind and is willing to give anyone a piece of it. She is wild and spirited, she loves large animals but is terrified of small harmless critters. Jessie would rather find a rattlesnake in her boot than have her hair washed and brushed.
Woody loves rounding up his gang and charming the crowd. He's not keen on the war-whoops of the other varmints or on being smothered with too much affection, but he loves seeing the lay of the land while riding high in the arms of his Sheriffs.
Rex is the much-awaited newest member of our outfit. He joined us in July 2012, and is therefore too young to have much said about him. He drinks a lot of milk and all he can say is "Rarr!"
"No, Buzz, I AM your father."
Mr de Elba is dark and handsome with a loud laugh. He is a fun and loving father who enjoys spending time with his children. He's great at computers - this means I have my own personal IT Guy, but also that he often falls asleep in front of computer games at night. He makes great coffee, does the best Chicken Tikka Masala, cooks a mean barbecue and plays guitar frightfully well. He is, however, no good at doing accents.
Mr de Elba is dark and handsome with a loud laugh. He is a fun and loving father who enjoys spending time with his children. He's great at computers - this means I have my own personal IT Guy, but also that he often falls asleep in front of computer games at night. He makes great coffee, does the best Chicken Tikka Masala, cooks a mean barbecue and plays guitar frightfully well. He is, however, no good at doing accents.
Bullseye has been contributing to Blue-Tongue Lizard and Bandicoot Attrition Rates since we moved in to a new house which backs onto some forest. She either moves in quantum motion or possesses the power of ubiquity. She can often be seen, apparently simultaneously, at both the side door and the back door. Her arch-nemeses include dogs and other animals smaller than her. She harbours a deep envy of aeroplanes and birds who possess what she so desperately craves: Altitude.
<a href="http://friendlyblackandwhitedog.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e60/Givinya/button.jpg" alt="http://friendlyblackandwhitedog.blogspot.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>
My sweet niece ...
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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.
Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.
Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).
I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.
I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.
And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."
This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.
Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.
Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).
I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.
I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.
And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."
I know. It seems crazy to go back to pseudonyms now that Mister Internet knows our real (first) names. I blogged for 8 months with real names because I love the names that I gave my children, and I wanted my friends to know us better! Now that you do, I'm ready to go back to my original blog genre using pseudonyms, so here we go.
This does mean that "Jessie" is onto her fourth Blog Name. What can I say? I've never found the perfect one.
This does mean that "Jessie" is onto her fourth Blog Name. What can I say? I've never found the perfect one.
No, they didn't.
They called me Katherine.
I go by Kate.
I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'
In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.
Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.
They called me Katherine.
I go by Kate.
I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'
In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.
Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.
"Er, sweetheart, killing a fly with a ukulele is probably the wrong thing to do ..."
I thought it sounded like something I'd say; something that summed up the parenting experience quite well. A bizarre yet offhand, languid suggestion that pest control was best achieved without the use of musical instruments.
I thought it sounded like something I'd say; something that summed up the parenting experience quite well. A bizarre yet offhand, languid suggestion that pest control was best achieved without the use of musical instruments.
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I See You4 years ago
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annie kate6 years ago
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long and narrow walk through closet7 years ago
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Novel Perseverance8 years ago
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My Kids Caused My Memory Loss8 years ago
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surviving a teenage birthday party8 years ago
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This Aging Thing8 years ago
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Shattered This Christmas10 years ago
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Smoky Mountain Adventures, Cosby style10 years ago
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Menace11 years ago
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Dreaming Big11 years ago
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A Sweet Suite in Sunny Stonesville11 years ago
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Holidays...11 years ago
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Sooooo11 years ago
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Toast11 years ago
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The life lesson we hadn't intended12 years ago
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Cowboy Party12 years ago
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November
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- I wonder!
- Briefly ...
- LOLz
- All I want for Christmas ...
- Sailing on the Solway Lass
- He loves me
- Light
- Day Two of Mr de Elba's Schoolies' Week sailing ar...
- Parfait!
- Summer
- I can hardly contain my excitement!
- Who were those two boys?
- Two Boys
- Giveaway Winner!
- Let there be LIGHT! And a Giveaway too.
- Okay, maybe I don't have Sand Regret. But maybe I...
- We Have Sand
- Then & Now
- In the middle of the night ...
- I love my children
- Dogs get put down for less
- Breakfast
- Friday Fill-Ins on Saturday
- Jaz. Snap.
- The Latest of Nat's Dreams Involving My Death
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12 comments:
It could be worse. Imagine if one of the older ones bit the baby...
(What? Too soon??)
Seriously, though, you have my sympathy. I can only imagine the frustration of crying, "WHYYYYYY? Why would you do this??" when, for children, there is no 'why'; there is just 'well this looks like fun'.
Is it possible to leave it there and force them to use it bit by bit over the next week or so?
I know, I know - put the toilet paper "in a high place".
Can you string it from the light?
At least its not all shoved in the toilet and over flowing.
Oh yes, Crazy Sister, oh yes!
It may not surprise you to learn that this very event occurred about a fortnight ago. I piled all the paper up into a plastic storage box and put it beside the toilet.
They (okay, HE, though he was not the perpetrator that time) had to use it piece by piece until it was finished. I helped a bit.
THAT box of paper has only just been used up and a fresh roll placed there.
And so you see what happened, and won't be too surprised to learn that there is yet another box of paper beside the toilet.
Wouldn't it be easier just to unroll the toilet paper as soon as you buy it, and to leave it all in a box beside the loo instead of putting it on the roll? Clearly that's what they prefer... ;)
At least the seat is down. I am surounded by boys and the seat is.always.up. :)
:/ there is nothing more annoying than that. i feel your pain!
I can't stop laughing, sorry!
Perhaps you could fit one of those annoying public toilet roll dispensers that only allows you to roll off one sheet at a time?
Oh! I DREAM of fitting one of those!!!
Little kids really ARE like puppies, aren't they?
How did you get a picture of my bathroom?!!
Drives me CRAZY!
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