Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Dogs get put down for less

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

09 November 2009

Dogs get put down for less

Hi! I'm Joseph. Check this out:

This here - get a closer look:

We all know what makes that sort of mark. That's a bite.

The way I see it, the reason why I have such a bad bite on me at this age is simply that I have a bigger brother and a bigger sister.

So at 6:00am SHE's in my cot with me and we're chilling out together quite happily, then HE gets in the cot too and starts picking me up because he can't leave well enough alone, and SHE gets all screamy because we were having a good time and then SHE gets so mad at HIM that SHE bites ME. Because that makes sense to her.

And then she's all "I'm sowwy Doe-feff" but I'm still not so sure.

Man.

12 comments:

Jodie said...: Poor doe-feff! If it makes you feel better, my baby brother suffered worse at my hands (and teeth) but I really did love him and we grew up to be good friends :-); 09 November, 2009 11:17
Tracy P. said...: OW!! Bethany was never bitten, but Ben did think it was exciting to turn her bouncy seat upside down with her in it.; 09 November, 2009 11:21
Jen said...: Oh poor, Joseph. So if she bite Joseph b/c she was mad at Nat, then I don't want to see what she will do if she is made at Joseph. Nat better watch his back.; 09 November, 2009 11:36
Joy said...: Oh his little pouty lip in the bottom picture is breaking my heart.
♥
Joy; 09 November, 2009 11:43
Long dark hair, blue eyes said...: yes I often show my bro, now 28, how much I love him by giving him a nice bite on the forehead - nothing says sibling affection like teeth marks on your face.; 09 November, 2009 15:45
Swift Jan said...: :( poor joseph; 09 November, 2009 16:46
Hippomanic Jen said...: Oh, I'm so relieved, because initially I thought the dog did it and would have to have agreed that if Jaz had bitten a child there was a one way trip to the vet coming.

Fortunately it doesn't work the same way for daughters, but I'm still sorry for poor Joseph.; 09 November, 2009 17:07
Givinya De Elba said...: Ironically, I feel Joseph is safer from bites when he's with Jaz than when he's with his siblings. And I still supervise vigilantly when he's with Jaz.

(Bites from A-L are extremely rare, but they do happen. And every owner of a dog who has bitten a child says, "I thought they were perfectly safe!")

So do I need to supervise the children as closely as if they were pitbulls?; 09 November, 2009 19:24
Femina said...: Oh, poor little mite. Both of them.; 10 November, 2009 06:44
Allegro ma non troppo said...: I would never think to bite someone on the forehead. I imagine I'd go for an ear or nose.; 10 November, 2009 10:43
The Accidental Housewife said...: Poor baby! I imagine he'll get his own back one day very soon ;); 10 November, 2009 20:52
Alison said...: Oh my goodness, poor little baby! Until I had children, I didn't remember how bad sibling rivalry can be.; 11 November, 2009 11:57

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

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They called me Katherine.

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I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

09 November 2009

Dogs get put down for less

12 comments: