27 June 2008

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you waste your time

Since I'm in the mood for embarassing myself by telling you the truth about silly things I do, let me confess that I set myself the pointless task of being the first commenter on The Secret Is In The Sauce (SITS) yesterday.



SITS is an awesome site developed by Heather and Tiffany who are dedicated to encouraging bloggers by promoting them one by one, asking readers to first leave a comment on the main SITS site, then head over to the day's featured blogger and comment away! Each weekday, a new blog is featured, and the post giving us the link is scheduled for midnight.

Over there, there's not exactly a competition amongst the nightowls to be the first commenter when the new post goes up, but there does seem to be a certain sense of achievement when your name can head the list of 130 or 140 comments for the day. Most of the early commenters sound very tired as they type a bleary Hello while they hug their coffees, but it is fun to be one of the first.

And I'm in Australia! The Land of Opportunity To Be The First Commenter! This is because when the post pops up at midnight somewhere in the States, it's a cushy late-afternoon time for me, and really, why shouldn't I aim to be first? Granted, there is Arsenic Hour to negotiate, but it's worth a shot, isn't it?

After much concentrated thinking, subtracting, adding and mixing numbers up in my head, I worked out that the posts are popping up at 5:00pm over here. Should be easy.

Not so, it turns out.

This is how it (approximately) went yesterday. I'll preserve Australian Eastern Standard Time, because it's my blog, and I can use my timezone if I want to.

16:45:00 - Realise that the new SITS post should be appearing in about a quarter of an hour. Kids are quiet and happy. Might go for the FIRST comment today.

16:53:00 - Trying to do some of the dinner preparation while keeping an eye on the time. Decide I won't sit down and focus on catching the new post until 4:55.

16:54:00 - Why does time go so slowly when you're "watching the pot?"

16:55:00 - Ah! Sit down and refresh the screen. Notice that yesterday's post finished with the text: "143 SITS Sisters commented" and decide to focus on that text. The minute it changes, I'm commenting my way to FIRST PLACE!

16:55:30 - Refresh screen. No change to the line "143 SITS Sisters commented." Reassure self that there probably won't be a change for the next 4 minutes 30 seconds. Dum-de-dum-de-dumm.

16:55:45 - Sonny Ma-Jiminy says, "My pants are wet Mummy." WHAT?!? Talk about great timing. Decide that I will only need to spend 4 minutes 15 seconds dealing with this and can still be first if I'm quick. Also sternly tell self that if I miss it, no big deal. Sonny's more important. (But gee - FIRST! Wow.)

16:55:50 - Sonny Ma-Jiminy says, "There's some wee on the kitchen floor too." That can wait until after I have blitzed the comment race, surely?

16:56:00 - Whisk Sonny to the bathroom. Decide that it's so close to dinner that he should probably have a shower anyway.

16:56:15 - Sonny naked. Shower water cantankerous. Two temperatures: 'Scalding' and 'Freezing'. Make mental note to change the 'H' and 'C' on the taps to 'S' and 'F' in line with Goldilocks-type showering experience.

16:56:30 - Success! Sonny proclaims the shower is "a bit perfecter" and hops in. I quickly wash everything that needs washing. He is independent in the shower, I decide to leave him for 3 mins 30 secs and head back to refresh the screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Still in the running for the fabulous prize of being FIRST! Woot!

16:57:20 - Sonny's tiny voice, "I need to do a poo!" Wow! Toilet training is working! Right-jolly-now-of-all-the-times-in-all-the-days. Well. This is truly more important than being first. I'll deal with this and take my chances on SITS.

16:57:25 - Water of "perfect" temperature switched off (gah!), Sonny out of shower, towelled down, sat on toilet.

16:58:00 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Realise that my heart is pounding and I am all nervous, just like in the closing seconds of an eBay auction you're winning and you hope nobody outbids you as the clock tick-tick-ticks along. Admit to self this is really pretty dumb.

16:58:35 - Sonny is done. And wow. He must be lighter after that. Again: wow. Good going, kiddo. He declares he doesn't want his nighttime nappy, only undies. I race into the kitchen where we of course store the undies and step in the large puddle of wee that he warned me about, but I had cleverly decided to de-prioritise so I can have the delirious joy of being the FIRST COMMENTER ON SITS. Like there's a prize or something. Idiot.

16:58:45 - Get old towel and deal with puddle on kitchen floor.

16:59:00 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Cool.

16:59:10 - Negotiate with Sonny regarding the benefits of going with the nighttime nappy afterall. Nappy on. Pyjamas on. Cuddle, because I can't resist.

16:59:55 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented."

17:00:03 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Okay, maybe the SITS clock and mine aren't perfectly synchronised...

17:00:25 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." No worries, it'll be real soon.

17:00:49 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented."

17:00:58 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented."

17:01:05 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented."

17:01:35 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Maybe the SITS girls schedule their posts for a few minutes after midnight.

17:01:47 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Or maybe they don't schedule them at all.

17:01:58 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Or maybe they've decided to play with us today, schedule it for 2am so silly ol' me learns a lesson about not playing pointless games like this.

17:02:05 - Refresh screen. "143 SITS Sisters commented." Or maybe it's just a life lesson I have to learn. The Hare and the Tortoise, you know. It's not about who wins or loses, but how you play the game.

17:02:10 - A thought dawns on me. This is not the top of the page. I keep refreshing and the page loads to the same spot it was before I refreshed. Any new post will surely appear ABOVE this spot here.

17:02:11 - Embarrassed.

17:02:12 - Scroll up. Yep, there's the new post. Three minutes old, with two comments there already. What a total schmuck.

Disclaimers:

(1) No children were harmed or neglected in the whole stupid debacle. On my honour, their needs, as always, came first. All screen refreshes were done in the "spare" blocks of 10 seconds which would have otherwise been used to say, "Hurry Up!" But instead of hurrying Sonny, I decided to hit "refresh". A better use of time.

(2) SITS offers awesome competitions and giveaways, and all right-thinking SITStas would choose to enter them with a view to win, rather than engaging in inter-continental competitions regarding who commented first on any given day.

65 comments:

mommastantrum said...

I love it!! "Refreshing" the puter...the new way to derail your yelling at the kids...and feed your computer addiction!

Yeah Sonny for Pooing On The Potty!!

Mrs. R said...

This is HYSTERICAL. When we feature you, we must use this post.. Oh, I am laughing so hard that I am crying.

This made my day.

Heather said...

CLASSIC!! I love the little competition you little night owls have going on. It cracks me up every morning when I see the "who's first" banter. Just keep refreshing, sister...keep refreshing.

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

Priceless. Laughing so hard my sides hurt.

Wanted to give a proper thank you to your wee brother for the very nice poem comment.

Deb

Anonymous said...

I see you missed again today, but I guess work got in the way. The problem was, I had to check it out - your blog is causing serious time evaporation. Jen.

Arizona Albino said...

Thanks for turning me on to SITS! And I think you're doing great with potty training, you sound calm and cool about the whole situation. Love to read what you're doing down under.
Kim

Lane Boyz Mom said...

OMG that had me rolling out of my chair laughing soooo hard! That was tooooooo freakin' funny!

Caroline said...

Fabulous! I could have been totally in the dark about nappies, but after my sister lived in Ireland for several years, she enlightened me to different words in different cultures. I think my favorite part of the post was...all of it! Great job!

Bobbi's Book Nook said...

I laughed so hard, I think I peed my pants! This is my first time at your site, and I'm here compliments of the SITS gals

Jen said...

That is so funny. Sometimes the competitor in me get the best of me too.

Rhea said...

Stepping in a puddle of pee is quite the consolation prize!! hehe

MamaBriggs said...

Too funny!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

LOl...focus and ambition you got babe...

Cristin said...

Hilarious!! Many a night I have come from work around 11:30 and forced myself to stay up until midnight in hopes of being the first commenter... until I realized we were in different time zones... joining you in the idiot club....

Sherri said...

Funny!!! Good luck with being on the top.

Cray and Bickford Family said...

I'm glad to hear that I am not the only crazy SITS girl! I have spent many nights TRYING to wait out the posts to befirst...to no avail!

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Priceless. I suspect one day I might be seeing you at a "SITS Anonymous" meeting?? :)

Karen said...

That's so funny :-)

And being a Kiwi (though currently living in the US) I understood immeadiately what you meant by 'nappy' :-)

Amy said...

Too cute! I am a 'refreshing' fool at times also.

G'day down under!!

Debbie said...

That was just brilliantly funny! I have noticed this little competition but I live on the East Coast so I am never awake to be the first. Oh and thanks so much for stopping by for the last few days and leaving me comments after my SITS party!

Cara Starr said...

my friends and I had a super long thread going on our birth board. Anytime we were nearing a big number like, 5000 posts, everyone would race to get it. So there would be 349573 posts saying "got it!" "No you didn't I did" "It's me!" etc... It really inflated our post count trying to hit those big ones. lol.

Lula! said...

Just so you and everyone else knows...I will NEVER aspire to be the first commenter on SITS. Because I'm not ashamed to revel in my love of sleep. But you go 'head, girl...I'll be rooting you on. Now I'm gonna start follwing this competition...it'll be better than Monday Night Football here in the States.

Brilliant post, my dear!

AFRo said...

This is pretty funny. I've done the "refresh refresh refresh" thing before in one of my insomnia bouts, but simply because I knew if I didn't read it before I passed out, I would get to see it until the next night. Being first is a perk though.

What time zone do they post in? I've wondered that many nights 'cause I'm CDT here and I don't get them until WAY later than midnight most of the time.

4 under 4 said...

LOVE the post. And I have secretly thought about setting an alarm clock so that I could get up early enough to be the first. And I know that it would be pretty frickin' early because one of my 4 kids is ALWAYS up before 5 am CST, and l've never been first (and let me tell you, I make the little early bird wait for her breakfast while I hit the coffee button and check SITS, is that wrong???)

Party of 5 said...

ROTFLMBO (while avoiding the wee). This is so typically something I would do. Love it.

Hope next time you can get the
"1st".

WheresMyAngels said...

Cracking me up!

Rene said...

You are too funny! I'll be back to read more -- definitely adding you to my blog subscriptions! BTW...I agree that getting your coins placed on top of your paper money is completely annoying! I always want to correct the salesclerk when they do that -- but I'm trying to not be quite so annoying myself.

Jennifer H said...

Stepping in the wee was inevitable! Bet you didn't yell First! at that...:-)

This was hilarious.

Tausha said...

Too Funny! The things that us moms do-blog-
pee
blog
shower the kid that peed
hurry to blog
step in the pee from the kid
what the holy heck! You kids are totally messing up my blogging time!
You my dear children-you have got to figure out this whole timing thing!
I have got to blog!
And learn to pee in the toilet!!
The preceding little conversation is one I would have had with myself and kids.
I would not have been as nice and kind as you!
I will practice though!
You inspired!
Just think-if you would have been the first post-you would not have met all these new friends!
Espescailly me-your new friend from freeking hot utah!!!
Have a fantastic day! Whatever time it is there! :)

christie said...

Ambitious and so funny!

Adrienne said...

OMG that is totally too frikkin funny! :D Thanks for an awesome, suspending read! I was literally on the edge of my seat!
http://scrappin-a-rose.blogspot.com/

Ann said...

Well done!

Parker said...

CLASSIC. I love it.
HUGS,
Kat

Michelle said...

Too cute! Good luck making it to the first post. I'm going to have to start looking now to see who is the first. I'm already admitted that I'll just about always be near the bottom, as my blogging / computer hours are in the wee hours of the night ... but before the new post goes up.

And congrats on both the potty AND the diaper staying on at night!

Heather said...

Hee! Just popped over here from SITS and read this. May you someday be first, and without stepping in puddles of dubious origin on the floor en route to the computer....

Cheers!

Mommy Meryl said...

Hi - found you via SITS and that was a totally funny post!! Totally can feel you when you weighed the pros & cons of cleaning the pee later!!

Sunshine said...

Enjoyed reading your post... Great stuff!!!

Dena said...

Too funny! Congrats on being Featured.

Jen said...

That was so very funny.

Sherry Martschink said...

Enjoyed this so very much. I'm new to SITS and know nothing about Roll Call or trying to be first to comment, but I've certainly done a lot of refreshing near the end of eBay auctions. So funny!

Jessica said...

LOL too funny. Congrats though.

Tam said...

I am laughing so very very hard! TOO funny! What lives we MOMS lead!

Mama's Losin' It said...

Hilarious! And just look at what third place got you!! I don't even know who number one and number two are...just look at you sitting pretty NOW!!

Anonymous said...

Well, congratulations Givinya. I wondered what was going on when I saw so many comments. Well done - and not a single trick necessary (unless the whole thing was an elaborate scam to get SITS support... nah, you're not that conniving). Jen.

Cara said...

This had be laughing! I love how you stepped in the wee you were warned about. This sound alot like my house with the potty training and an infant I seem to get quite a bit of wee all over me.

M said...

You just gave me my first laugh of the day and oh what a laugh it was!!!!

Thanks so much for that, you are truly hilarious!

elizabeth engelhardt creations said...

You are AWESOME! I needed a good laugh first thing this morning!! Keep up your stalking of SITS. I am sure you will be the FIRST one of these days!! :o)

Mama Dawg said...

That was funny!

Kaza said...

Awesome post.

Katy Lin :) said...

omw this is hillarious! i'm so glad i'm not the only one with an addiction!

Ginny said...

This is very funny, dying over here. Love it & even more that you actually shared this story, LOL.

Erin The Great said...

Having made it first a couple of times, I understand the sensation you get when you are the first one for 'Roll Call'. This post was hysterical.

LaQuintamomof3 said...

You crack me up!
Visiting vis SITS

Sassy Momma said...

Oh my goodness, I love it! I mean, SITS posts only come up once a day. You've got the rest of the day to take care of the kiddos!

Melissa Lester said...

That is too funny! Now I will be looking for your name and hope you will get to be first!

Rph Mommy said...

I would like to thank you for making my internet/blog obession feel completely normal.

Reason number 769 why I love SITS

Scary Mommy said...

Another internet addict here. Clearly you are not alone!!!!

lynn said...

Hilarious! I love it. Somehow kids always seem to know when you're doing something important and thats when they need you most! lol

Sonya said...

What a hilarious post! I am new to the SITSahood and was wondering if you got bonus points for being 1st. Thanks for clearing that up for me! :)

I am blogrolling your blog...you are so fun to read! Take Care

Apple Joos said...

In honor of your SITS day, here is your comment. Since I've been there now, and I know how overwhelming all these comments can be, I'll leave my real "I'm totally into what you write" comments tomorrow so that you've got one less person to address. And I already have you on my blogroll so I'm just going to go ahead and take a step back so you can give your attention to these other people who are not yet aware of your awesomeness.

LisaPetrarcaBlog said...

Yep...you explained it soooo good! I call myself the midnight Site stalker...watching, waiting, watching, waiting. Thanks for the refresher tip, I click out of site and back in over and over again...what wonderful advice you've given me!LOL!

Glad you were first, but now you've entered COMPETITION world, once you're first, you can't get enough of it, you'll see...see you at the top tomorrow!

LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!

LisaPetrarcaBlog said...

Yep...you explained it soooo good! I call myself the midnight Site stalker...watching, waiting, watching, waiting. Thanks for the refresher tip, I click out of site and back in over and over again...what wonderful advice you've given me!LOL!

Glad you were first, but now you've entered COMPETITION world, once you're first, you can't get enough of it, you'll see...see you at the top tomorrow!

LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!

Neurotically Yours: said...

This is hilarious!!! And so something I would do :) Congrats on being featured on SITS!

Maternal Mirth said...

I was just framing a post about trying to be the FIRST on comments and what the preoccupation was with that ... I don't mind being 143rd in line. I don't have anywhere to be and obviously no goals LOL

GREAT post!!! :)

WheresMyAngels said...

That is so funny, I almost did a post like this. I always hate the people on Perez Hiltons blog that do that "first" thing. And yet I have been "First" quite a few times. But unlike you, I have to stay up til 2am to do it!! lol