Calm Down, Mummy

Because Sonny Ma-Jiminy doesn't always snap to it when I tell him to do something, I often accidentally use a voice that is much louder than the one I meant to use.

Take today for example. Circumstances had found us at the end of the day sitting on the trampoline eating roast chicken and veggies. I had Chubbity Bubbity in my arms, some pieces of chicken and veggies cooling for Chubbity, and the roast dinner balancing in the middle of us when Sonny Ma-Jiminy decided to jump on the trampoline.

Subconsciously, I must have decided that Sonny was unlikely to respond to me telling him to STOP jumping in a normal voice.

What I meant to say in a low, firm voice was "Stop jumping, Sonny, No!" But although I said those words, I failed to use the low firm voice I'd planned to use. I accidentally shrieked. And people, I gave it all I had.

I used the sort of shriek you'd use if your child just got bitten by a poisonous snake.

The sort of shriek you'd use if a large vehicle was bearing down on your whole family.

The sort of shriek you'd use if someone had crept up behind you very quietly, and sliced your legs off.

I then heard the neighbour taking the washing off the line just over the fence and collapsed laughing on the trampoline, realising how over-the-top my correction of Sonny Ma-Jiminy was. Poor kid. Needless to say, he'd stopped jumping. Then he laughed with me and said, "Did the laughing stop you from shouting?" I had to admit that it did.