Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Just Wait One Cotton-Pickin' Minute!

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

01 October 2008

Just Wait One Cotton-Pickin' Minute!

I love my Mum.

She helped me pack part of the kitchen.

She labelled the boxes.

But hang on just a minute.

Here are the labels she wrote.

Do you notice something?

Something conspicuously consistent?

Mum. What are you trying to tell me?

It's probably just junk to you, but it's all my stuff!

And if IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT I am looking for my egg separator and if IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT I decide it's probably stored under the heading, "Junk", in which of the 9 boxes above should I look for it?

I'm just going to count on not separating any eggs.

13 comments:

Swift Jan said...: Laughing out loud!!!! Your mum is a cack!; 01 October, 2008 21:22
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Mum does seem to be obsessed with Things You Obviously Don't Need.

And she's committed to pointing it out to you - it didn't look easy to fit "and junk" on every single label.; 01 October, 2008 21:46
Hippomanic Jen said...: Good luck with finding all your junk.; 01 October, 2008 22:29
Tracy P. said...: I see that your mum has a ukelele too! You must have gotten yours from her! ;-); 01 October, 2008 23:19
Jen said...: don't you just love the way that mom's send their little messages to us.
yes mom, I know!; 01 October, 2008 23:41
Lynda said...: Your mom is funny! Now, clean out that junk ;-); 02 October, 2008 00:22
Nauntie Lush said...: Um, I don't know what is more alarming...that she thinks all of your stuff is JUNK, or that the one box reads something to the effect of (address - Humpty Doo)! I couldn't get past the fact that was an ACTUAL address! I am so moving there...once you get rid of all the stuff that will kill me.

Oh, and tell Mom that you want all new JUNK for Christmas to go in your NEW kitchen. That'll teach her to write JUNK on your boxes again!; 02 October, 2008 01:40
Unknown said...: She could have at least spelled it Junque; 02 October, 2008 02:48
Heather said...: Oh, I'm with Lizzy! Junque is much nicer-sounding, anyway.

Thanks for visiting me on my SITS day! It was great to hear from you!

Good luck with the remodeling!; 02 October, 2008 10:53
Anonymous said...: haha it's brilliant! "and junk.." ...
hope the kitchen renovations goes smoothly!!; 02 October, 2008 22:09
FarmGirl said...: Crackin' me up!! I feel your kitchen pain....we live in an older farmhouse (1950 something) that was my hubby's. His grandparents spent NOOO money, so I have ZERO cabinets, zilch, NADA!! So I am super excited for you!!

I found you thru Sunangel....I look forward to seeing your new kitchen!! YEe HaW!!; 03 October, 2008 03:50
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Spoke to mum on the phone today - she's now claiming she started it as a joke, then couldn't stop.; 03 October, 2008 21:24
Givinya De Elba said...: Oh REEEAlly?; 03 October, 2008 22:08

Post a Comment

(Click the links below for my Post Labels)

This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

01 October 2008

Just Wait One Cotton-Pickin' Minute!

13 comments: