12 December 2009


1. I studied for an "A" and I keep getting "F"s

It's so depressing. I love tidiness, but I can't keep my home tidy enough that my family can't mess it up in a heart beat. I love and treasure my family, but in return they use me as a dumping station and a refuelling station. I'm not sure how much of this taking-for-granted I will accept before I book myself into a nice place with padded walls. Heard of the concept of the "love tank"? Well mine always runs on Low but now it's so Empty I can't seem to fill it up by myself. I am exhausted. Other mums are doing so much better than me. And this is not the time to say, "Oh no they aren't ..." because I've seen them. I've seen their homes. I've seen how their family treasures them. It would be kind of you to lie for me, but really, I don't need it because I know the truth.

2. But 2 year olds aren't supposed to get PMS

This smile:I just haven't seen enough of it lately.

3. Funny texts in sensitive situations

It wasn't just my sister - a good friend of mine (a very good friend - someone who made me feel welcome when I moved here, who helps me help others, one of those totally awesome friends you want to hang on to all your life) also turned 30 yesterday. I was at her party last night while Mr de Elba was home with the baby Joseph who cried a lot, Anna-Lucia who did an inordinate amount of crying, saying that "Maisie* is making me sick" and Nat who was still awake at 8:30pm** and I was getting concerned as I received more texts to this effect.

The speeches were lovely. My friend's mum, dad, grandma, cousin, friends and husband all gave speeches that would make anyone cry if such nice things were said about them and in The Moment, I got another text. Eek. I thought I'd better check it.

It was not from Mr de Elba, it was from my Crazy Sister. "Why am I always so gassy when I've got my period?" she asked. Hard to keep a straight face.

* ... who is Maisie? This is Maisie ...

Yeah, makes her SO sick. Boo hoo.

** Now why is he so tired today? Why so naughty? Why did he throw a rotten mango on the freshly cleaned floor? Splat. See? I could keep this place clean if it was just me. But I think I need them, rotten mango and all.

4. Q&A

Nana Tantrum: Oh, I hope so! Please tell me that you have just a little bit of snow! We've had a heat wave here and it's been unbearable. When we moved up the mountain to our new place we thought we wouldn't get this uncomfortably hot, but not so, it seems.

Scurrette: We only got a few drips of rain, then it stopped. Just enough for some pictures with umbrellas, not enough to put much in the tank which I appear to have conveniently drained by leaving the tap on (scoring another F.)

Veiled Turnip: Yes, I do as much editing as I can in Picasa - Photoshop is quite beyond me, but I plan to learn more about it.

Hippomanic Jen: Anna's disappearing jeans did indeed get wet, but not really wet enough to discard. Just wet enough for a small child to get all cranky and demand for them to be discarded.


Femina said...

My guess is you're probably doing okay, and more than okay, but probably you don't need to hear that right now. It does suck that your tidying efforts get trashed quickly. It would frustrate anyone and I'm sure it's loads worse when you're tired and other little people are very out of sorts. Hang in there, my friend; I'm sure it will get better. I can't, however, guarantee it will get better SOON.

veiledturnip said...

While it may be true that other houses are tidier/cleaner than yours - what can be said for the quality time you are spending with your children instead of cleaning? Will they remember how tidy the house was or how much fun they had? They'll remember the fun and the time spent with family.
But, having said all this - I find I am the one who makes my house messy! I hate mess & I don't like cleaning yet am soo messy! Makes life quite interesting.

Swift Jan said...

I hate hearing that your love tank is empty. That's NOT fair.

I love you!!! And I know your family does too. (it would be nice if they showed you a bit though wouldn't it).

I think you are an awesome mum, in that whilst running on empty you are still able to show them your love towards them.

Once again, I love you xoxox

Scurrette said...

Perhaps we need to organise a little high tea (we were discussing it at the markets this morning) and invite you for a little time out!

If it is any consolation, my house is pretty much always trashed. I try to clean. I ask the boys to clean for me to vacuum. The standard reply is *no! I like it messy!*. I force them about once a week so I can vac, but within nanoseconds of pulling the plug, it is a disaster again.

Oh, and when I say that I ask them to clean it up, it generally doesn't happen and I wait until the big fella is at kindy and then I do it myself. But it doesn't stop the little one trashing it again such that no one can tell any difference was made.

Just repeat to yourself that it's only a few more years of this bedlam and then it is SCHOOL!!!!

Crazy Sister said...

I wind up getting a little bit upset and cranky when I visit super-tidy homes. It just isn't fair. It's mean. Especially when the other person has little kids, too. They shouldn't have perfect homes. Fie on them for making us feel awful.

I know at least half a dozen mums who send the kids to day care while they stay home and clean all day. And they always have dedicated play rooms. And I just want to poke them in the eye.

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh, my wonderful friends! I love you! It is true, I do shun housework to spend time with my kids, even when I don't want to. Playing "Catch" with a 2 year old who can't catch or setting up a 4 year old's drums seems a bit exhausting to me, but I still do it. And I know it's more important. I just want to do it all, and that's just dumb.

Maybe tidy homes I see have just had The Cleaning Lady go through them? I'd never know.

Tracy P. said...

We have a bunch of snow. In fact, I was thinking about making frozen bubbles and clouds the other day. It was cold enough. When you run away, come here to cool off. You can laugh at my "F" earning ways and be responsible for nothing, and miss the heat. And your family. I'll even give you chocolate.

Jodie said...

Oh, I know what you mean! My house is trashed at the moment. I haven't folded washing in about a month, so when we're looking for clothes to wear we have to trawl through the piles in the spare room. And the kitchen is a disgrace...such that I cannot bring myself to even begin. And when I do get the motivation to clean it and swear that it will henceforth always be clean, of course it is a mess again within 24hours and that makes me feel worse. I would invite you around to prove it to you but if I did that I would be so embarrassed I would scurry about and throw things into rooms and shut doors. Now, I know this isn't a competition about whose house is the messiest, but I think I know something of your discouragement...to be a tidy person trapped in a messy person's house. P.S. I think it's great that you take the time to play. All to often, I find myself hiding the playdough at the back of the fridge so Noah isn't reminded that we haven't played with it for a while.

Anonymous said...

I always try and make myself believe that a tidy house is over-rated...but I can't make myself believe! I drove myself nuts when the kids were growing up trying to keep it spotless and now that I have grandchildren, I do the same thing! Wish I could offer you advice on how to relax...but it's hard coming from someone who has tidy issues!

And no snow...just freezing rain! Aaargh! It was a mess yesterday...we went out to do grocery shopping thinking it was only bad in the neighborhood...wrong! It was a skating rink everywhere! Today, though, it's up to 40 and it's melted! Warming up to the 50's by the end of the week!

Nana Tantrum

Long dark hair, blue eyes said...

1. I can have my spare room cleaned out by the time you drive down the range if you want some time away. But then I suspect the mess they are capable of may grow exponentially with each day you are away from them ;)
2. PMS only lasts for a few days a month. The terrible twos goes for the whole year! or so I hear.
3.Maisie isn't like chuckie right?