29 May 2009

Code Red in Sector 4

It was worse than being dressed up as "Mrs Nesbit."

I knew things were going to be tough when, after being happy and healthy when put to bed at 7:00pm last night, Sonny Ma-Jiminy woke up at 9:30pm talking gibberish with a raging fever and spaced-out nightmares. We made it through the night with Panadol and sleepless hours, and were at the doctor first thing to discover tonsillitis and gratefully accept an antibiotic to help our first-born get over the illness that crept up on him so quickly.

This morning, the vomiting started. I've been a mother for 4 years and 2 months now, and I can guarantee that when they say, "You get used to the smell of vomit - it's okay when it's your own kid" that they're not talking about me.

Today there was one unsuspecting victim of the collateral damage that a surprise vomit can deliver.

When the vomit came flying out of Sonny's mouth with not much more warning than, "I feel so bad!" poor Buzz was lying in the trajectory.

With his helmet open.

Face up, so his backpack created a little reservoir underneath, only to be discovered in transit from the Place Of Vomit to the Place Of Cleaning. Drip, drip, drip.

Buzz, with his characteristic stoic grin plastered on his face, caught a large amount of curdled milk. In the flurry of cleaning the floor, couch and blanket, and getting two children showered, dressed and ready for a quick trip to the doctor's office, Buzz was forgotten and left on the kitchen sink awaiting cleaning.

When we returned, he had not cleaned himself up so I decided to do the job for him. I did it in between gagging, choking, retching, running for the vomit bucket myself and ... yes, you know me all too well ... clinging onto the last vestiges of continence with determination borne of desperate necessity.

Buzz's helmet has a front panel that "does that WHOOSH thing" (as Smoochy says when quoting Woody) - it swings upwards and retracts behind the rear portion of the helmet. Which meant that cleaning vomit from the inside of the front portion (how did it get there, if the helmet was open?) was impossible in both the open and shut positions, with or without Buzz threatening, "I have a laser, and I'll use it."

As if it wasn't hard enough cleaning the inside of the rear portion of the helmet behind Buzz's head with a toothbrush while he declared "Somebody's gotta stop that Evil Emperor Zurg."

I grasped his little Space Ranger body and scrubbed the curdles out of the nooks and crannies while Buzz proclaimed that "I don't think we're in the Gamma Quadrant anymore" and threatened, "Never tangle with a Space Ranger, my friend."

He then spent a day lying in the sun. I was worried that all the washing and scrubbing may have damaged his mechanical bits causing him to lose his power to verbally command the Universe, instead able only to deliver deep-voiced messages from Satan: "Loooook aat myy iiimpreeeessssive wiing-spaaaaannnn."

Yet Buzz lives. His power of speech remains with him. He reeks of vomit and has been banished outside. We don't know what to tell the small neighbour who actually owns him.

But Sonny continues to vomit, only once keeping his Panadol down and twice keeping his antibiotic down. I hope he sleeps well tonight, his temperature decreases and he can keep all his medication down.

The poor little superhero.


~Taz~ said...

oh no :( that sucks :( praying for you all! lots of love!

Hippomanic Jen said...

Oh you poor thing. Mr de Elba said the kids were ill, but that is disgusting. Hope tonight is better for all concerned, and that there is no further reason for you to tax your level of continence.

stefanie said...

I am so sorry. This is so very funny. Curdles. Yuck. Cleaning up the superheroes qualifies you for superhero status too!

Swift Jan said...

:( Poor Sonny, Poor Givinya & poor Buzz....

Hope Sonny feels better real soon!

Tracy P. said...

TWO poor little superheroes, and YOU in ALL your writing glory! This is priceless!

CynthiaK said...

Ugh! How horrid! Yeah, I'm one of those people who has a very difficult time managing the smell of vomit also. Give me a poopy diaper any day.

You're a trooper for working so hard to care for Sonny and for scrubbing down Buzz. Hope the little man (meaning Sonny) is feeling better very soon.

Hairline Fracture said...

Awww...poor little guy (not the plastic one, he's obviously fine if still stinky).

Since my nose is not nearly as sensitive as my husband's, I always get the majority of vomit duty. You know you're a mom when you catch their puke in your hands ON PURPOSE.

GreenJello said...

I never got used to my kids' vomit, either. Ew.

And I remember throwing away my fair share of toys that got caught in the crossfire. And books.

Jen said...

Oh man what a day. Hope things are getting better.

Cazbam said...

Vomit + Carol = More vomit. I don't know how you do it. I take my hat off too you.

I hope Sonny gets better soon

Sassy Britches said...

Awwww, hugs to all three of you, including stinky Buzz.

Too bad it wasn't a nighttime sicky so Mr. de Elba could step in...my parents divvied up responsibilities when I was very young. Mom = nose bleeds. Dad = vomit. And never the twain shall meet.

One time, I was in high school and on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, and I had to hand the phone to my mother to go to the bathroom to be sick. The boyfriend said, "Don't you need to go help her?" My mom declared, "I do nosebleeds, her father does upchucking, the end." :)

I hope things get better for Sonny soon!

♥ bfs~"Mimi" ♥ said...

That's just so sad and awful and sad and awful and awful.

Awfully sad.


Crazy Sister said...

I love the way you quoted Buzz's lines throughout this post. That's so funny. Poor neighbour boy, who actually OWNS the toy...

Dee from Downunder said...

UGH - dont envy you any of that. Poor Buzz!