Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Slightly Concerned

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

29 April 2009

Slightly Concerned

I used to check my Statcounter regularly. I always found the Google searches that brought people to my blog were interesting, even if the stats weren't.

I haven't checked it for months until tonight. Now I am disturbed.

I'd settled into a comfortable state of believing that my only readers were those of you who comment, and you're all pretty lovely people.

The google search terms that have brought people to my blog recently, however, have me quite concerned.

Why would a person be googling:

"devil's orchard furry"
"playdough killing games"
"sweet and sour afv"
"free really funny pics of fat ladies with skinny ladies at the beach"
"wake up each morning my first thought you. when i'm with you my heart races excitement happiness, i never want to leave you it hurts me when i have to. i smile so s..."

And how TWISTED is Google to send them here? Although the "funny pics" of fat ladies with skinny ladies at the beach could be me and Crazy Sister.

11 comments:

Femina said...: Thanks to writing one post about St Kilda - that's one post in about 320 - I get loads of people landing on my blog wondering where the prostitutes hang out in St Kilda. It must be horribly disappointing to land on my blog and see pictures of my kitten and a new handbag.; 29 April, 2009 21:35
Heather said...: Oooh, that reminds me that I haven't checked either of my stat counters recently. Betcha I've got some good (as in pervy, weird and *wrong*) Google search keyword/phrases in there. I've said the words "naked" and "boobs" and "locker room" on my blog in the past, you see, and those bring out ALL the freaks.

Poor creeps must be highly disappointed when they actually arrive at my blog. Mwah ha ha ha haaaaaa.; 29 April, 2009 21:41
Hippomanic Jen said...: Now I want to Google odd combinations of words that I know you've used. Just to upset your statcounter. Does that make me a freak?; 29 April, 2009 21:55
♥ Boomer ♥ said...: I don't even know what a stat-counter is, much less how to check it! :-); 29 April, 2009 22:21
Joy said...: Those are some bizarre searches. I just signed on to a stat-counter. Allison in Germany just explained to me how to do that.
I'll be curious to check it in the future and see what shows up.
♥
joy; 30 April, 2009 02:23
Jen said...: that is pretty weird. I wonder what those people were really looking for, especially with that last search.; 30 April, 2009 03:15
Swift Jan said...: interesting!!! Somewhat disturbing, but mostly interesting LOL; 30 April, 2009 09:58
Sassy Britches said...: I am so jealous of your cool searches. Nothing fun ever leads people to my place...I totally wish I could be more eclectic!

Oh, wait. I get a lot of hits from my picture of Bambi.

Lovely.; 30 April, 2009 13:56
Nanc Twop said...: `
Playdoh kill!ng games?

... Mr. Bill, is that you?; 01 May, 2009 11:49
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Oh, come on - last time we were at the beach together would have been a Scripture Union beach mission, and you were way skinnier than I was. I lost my wallet and you bought me some little wrap skirts with turtle prints on them.; 01 May, 2009 21:11
Whiney Momma said...: Yikes, this reminds me I need to check mine. Playdough killing games...now that is creeping me out!; 14 May, 2009 13:37

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

29 April 2009

Slightly Concerned

11 comments: