Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: My Dad. Sigh.

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

27 April 2009

My Dad. Sigh.

Me: I've had a few big cries recently.

Mum: Oh no, that's not good!

Me: Don't stress Mum. It's normal. Many women have told me they have cried a lot when forced to move to a new town. Take J___ for example. She's such a lovely, mature well-rounded Christian woman, and she ...
Dad: Big fat woman?

Me (sigh): Geez, Dad, blah blah blah ... (here I blabbered on about weight and medical issues and basically tried to put a kind spin on the fact that, well, you know, some of us struggle with our weight.)

Dad (cutting me off): I've never met her.

Me: Er-?

Dad: You said she was 'well-rounded'.

Me: Oh. Sorry. A funny joke. I thought you were being your usual tactless self. Okay. Thanks. Funny. Ha ha.

11 comments:

Femina said...: Officially known as a "Dad Joke". When you were kids and driving past a cemetery did he say, "See that, kids? Dead centre of town there. People are dying to get in."

Oh, that was just MY Dad? Okay then.; 27 April, 2009 22:16
GreenJello said...: My dad makes those kinds of jokes, too. We have all learned to just ignore him and keep talking.; 27 April, 2009 23:42
CynthiaK said...: Funny how dads still make those kinds of jokes even after so many years. They get even funnier with age, don't they?

One of my dad's favourite sayings used to be "is your face hurting? Because it's killing us."

Yeah. Dads are great for the ego. ;-); 28 April, 2009 03:47
Joy said...: Something tells me your Dad and my husband would be fast friends.

♥
Joy; 28 April, 2009 04:53
Alison said...: Yes, that's definitely a dad joke! Of course he never thought that she might actually have a weight issue.; 28 April, 2009 07:52
Swift Jan said...: Oh no!

Baaaaad joke.; 28 April, 2009 12:02
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Is tactless humour inherited? I think I must have got it from Dad, cause that terrible joke made me smile...; 29 April, 2009 12:10
Givinya De Elba said...: But he's said similar things a thousand times! Try to keep up!; 29 April, 2009 12:40
Sassy Britches said...: I love how dads get away with stupid jokes like that...and then REPEATING them over and over again!; 29 April, 2009 13:01
Sassy Britches said...: Maybe "stupid" sounds mean, but you know what I meant, right?!; 29 April, 2009 13:02
musingwoman said...: I think your dad and my dad would get along just fine.; 29 April, 2009 20:37

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(Click the links below for my Post Labels)

This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

27 April 2009

My Dad. Sigh.

11 comments: