21 December 2008

Rate of Messing > Rate of Tidying

WHY are there two shifting spanners on my bathroom vanity? Because the children put them there. That's one example. I have a trillion more. Yes, a trillion.

When Sonny wakes up in the morning, he just walks around and tears up the house. Smoochy is forced to whine and cry, "Muh-yee! Muh-yee" (middle syllables are too much bother) until I get her up, change her nappy and release her to join in the tearing up of the house with her big brother. She loves it and laughs, and he claims he "has" to continue tearing up the joint because she's laughing and therefore it must continue.

By the time I become functional and put my contact lenses in, the house is barely recognisable.

If I go back to bed for a few more minutes, they appear at my side (MY side!) of the bed regularly to give me things I don't want to hold, remove items from my bedside table and demand drinks (Smoochy Girl, the milkaholic: "Ook! Cup! Need! Peeze? Peeeze? Peeeeeze?")

This morning, Sonny appeared beside my bed lugging the Entire Top Section Of The Christmas Tree. Wh-? Huh? "I need you to stand the Christmas Tree up. Smoochy knocked it over." Yeah, right.

I was sorely tempted to get mad and accuse the kids of "ruining Christmas" but I realised in time that that was a stupid thing to say, and refrained. Just as I refrained from accusing them of ruining Christmas when our box of tree decorations was outside on the deck during the Horrible Bed Bug Plague and they opened the box and threw the decorations down onto the ground one by one to see them drop. This happened day after day after day, owing to the fact that there were no high-up storage place available to me once my home became a disaster zone.

And another thing - with a toddler in the house, you either have to set up your Christmas tree on a little table to keep tiny fingers away from the decorations, or you have to decorate it like this (see it in the side of this picture):

Recently, I put that picture into a post about our new kitchen table, and a very astute commenter (Tracy) said, "I'm especially taken by your half decorated Christmas tree. :) Don't worry, you'll be able to decorate the whole thing in a few years." Here is someone who GETS IT. You're right Tracy, spot on.

I found my credit card, by the way (hooraaay!) It was UNDER the waste-paper basket in my office. Relief! But seriously - under the waste-paper basket?!?

All day. The picking-something-up and putting-it-somewhere-else. I'm not keeping up, and I'm losing my desire to try. Remember this?

Busting my guts over this will only make me mad, won't it? I should put my feet up and have a cup of hot cocoa, shouldn't I?


Femina said...

Hey, you can't fool me - photo 1 and photo 3 are the same photo! Which is not to say your children... or anyone's children... aren't entirely capable of causing that kind of destruction as soon as the place is tidied. Boxes full of toys are soooo enticing... "ooh, what's this exciting thing at the very bottom of the box? This same thing that I was playing with yesterday. I swear I've never seen it before and I MUST PLAY WITH IT RIGHT NOW!"

bfs said...

Har har har har har har har har......... and what can I blame the status of my home on right now???

musing said...

A hot cuppa cocoa sounds like the perfect solution to me!

Sassy Britches said...

There's ALWAYS time for hot cocoa.

I'm dying laughing over Sonny coming in with the top half of the tree! I suppose it was, therefore, the DECORATED half to boot!

Mrs. Tantrum said...

I think that you should just ignore the mess like I do. Every time I clean, he just messes it up again, so when he is 42 it will be clean...and I will be so drunk from all the Kahlua and coffee I won't give a rip. You should try it out...

And isn't it a bit warm for cocoa at your place this time of year?

Joy in the Burbs... said...

I was going to suggest maybe a high shelf somewhere. Just kidding. I won't make that mistake again. haha.
I could go upstairs right now to my 13 yr olds room and trust me it looks just like that only different kind of crap on the floor. I'm not kidding. So don't expect any relief any time soon. When she was a toddler it was all over the house. Now at least it is confined to her room. They've learned since I went on rants with a trash bag in my hand tossing their things into it to keep it in their rooms.
You can pitch that kind of fit when they are little older. It will have a bigger impact on them. (strategic planning for parents) ha
Feeling your pain,


Jen said...

you totally should. I have given up, I let them have the house. I don't care any more in fact I help make them mess.

PS Our tree looks just like yours. Only half dressed up at least its dressed.

Long dark hair, blue eyes said...

yep. give up and make a bit of mess yourself.

Crazy Sister said...

I remember a Monty Python sketch about a society for "Putting Things On Top Of Other Things".

My kids are definitely members.

I remember staggering into my bedroom late one night, ready to crash into bed after tidying the whole house, only to find a fly swat had been placed on my pillow. I remember staring at it thinking, "Why? WHY?"

Hippomanic Jen said...

I have the mess, but no children.

Hang on, how long is it since I did a tidy-up? Oh, I get it now.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Have you heard of something called The House Fairy? It's a website - HouseFairy.com. My kids are too old, but it looks like a fun and easy way for younger kids to get them on board with helping keep the house nice and neat.