18 January 2009


Thankyou all for your lovely comments of care and support over the recent weeks. I didn't know if I should actually tell you I was struggling, for fear of hearing you all say, "Get up. You sook."

I had one disappointing comment which I promptly deleted, but the poison remained and discouraged me from sharing anything for a while. But most of you do have a basic understanding of how people deal with grief and loss on many levels, and were able to support me as I worked through the feelings which were natural.

I thank God -literally- that I have many trusted and wise friends and mentors who have all echoed each other in allowing me to work through the stages of grief, all of which are still very confused and only partially completed. In the same day I still feel the initial denial, even though anger and acceptance have been vying for supremacy only hours before.

But enough. And now on to some other issues.

There is a third tiny de Elba on the way who will be called Thingamababy for the rest of his/her life unless a better name comes to mind. This is a much loved and prayed-for de Elba, but when Thingamababy was breathed into being, the new job and imminent move were nowhere on our horizon at all. In fact they didn't come screaming at us from left-field (for that's what they did) until a good 18-20 hours later. I

won't sugar-coat the nausea, exhaustion or stress, but I won't go into it either (not today anyway). Just imagine scraping yourself through a thick pall of desperation to vomit, the need to sleep so long until you're in danger of starvation, and managing blood-pressure problems while pregnant and moving.

We have a few tentative dates: move what we need into Temporary Accommodation in the week of 16 Feb, get removalists to pack, move and store the rest of our things later that week, clean the whole house around the same time, have everything ready for tenants to move in around 25 Feb and arrange a home to buy or rent in our new town before the baby comes, preferably in May or June. Any earlier would be a bonus.

It all seems rather surreal.

Is it real?


Heather said...

First of all,

YAY YAY YAY for Thingamababy! :D

Secondly, "removalists" sounds so much more technical and fancy than our boring, old "movers" here in the US. :)

Thirdly, (((hugs))) for you!

Long dark hair, blue eyes said...

Woohoo for the new baby! That is very exciting.

Jen said...

I am glad that you decided to blog about this. You should be able to, it is your blog after all.
But that is besides the point. You know that I am praying for you. I know that you will find the strength to everything that you need to do, you are an amazing person that way. You will be able to find a good home for your family and Thingamababy. I love that name btw, I want to be pregnant just so that I can use it. ;)

Taryn said...

oohhhhhhh Thingamababy!!! haha i started screaming when i read that!!! :) congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited for you all!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

bfs ~ "Mimi" said...

Hugs and more hugs to you. Congratulations on the new little kiss from God, whatever his/her name will be! ;-)

I am so sorry about the nausea and blood pressure. My little daughter-in-love had a terrible time with the sickness until the 2nd or so trimester. It's odd when it decides to 'be' with you. Keep crackers nearby and only take tiny nibbles. Breath deeply. I will be praying for your good health and your peace.

Swift Jan said...

:D YAY!!! I am so pleased about Thingamababy! I think I shall call him/her "God's smile on Kate"!!
SO exciting... And for the record I am praying that a house comes up for you guys ASAP!!

Crazy Sister said...

Yes, it's all real, and you're dealing with it as well as you can.

You've been through tricky months before, and you'll survive it all to thrive again!

Well done on everything, including adding Thingamababy to the family!

Femina said...

YAY for Thingamababy! I think Femina de Elba would be a lovely name... although if it's a boy you might have to stick with Thingamababy de Elba. It seems more masculine, somehow...

Yep, it's real, and you're coping very well. Givinya - 1 / Screaming-Heap-Nervous-Breakdown - 0.

CynthiaK said...

Looks like you've had lots of good advice, positivity and prayers coming your way given the comments already posted. Those are definitely reiterated here.

But I also laughed at your choice of the name "Thingamababy" because it immediately made me think of the Moomin books by Tove Janssen (of Finland). They are beautiful stories for children with adorable strange forest folks, including a little pair called Thingummy and Bob.


Dee from Downunder said...

Congratulations on Thingamababy :)

Let everyone else do all the heavy stuff, and sit back with your feet up - ok, not practical, but do look after yourself and TMB (Thingamababy shortened like all good aussie names)

Hippomanic Jen said...

Dearest Givinya, So glad to hear about the newest addition to the cast of de Elbas. "Thingamababy" sounds so cute.

And I wish you'd left that negative comment up so that I could have savaged the author for you.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

I think that Thingamababy is the PERFECT addition to the DeElba crew! I am so excited for you!

I know that it seems like a lot right now to deal with, but remember that God will never give you more than you can handle (even though sometimes it FEELS like that) He knows that you are a STRONG WOMAN and you can handle it all.

And don't do the crackers, they will just make you sicker. You need some BACON. They make low sodium varities that won't make your blood pressure rise, and the protien and salty goodness will help quell the nausea. I know, it got me through three trimesters with BACON and he is perfect!

Adelaine said...

Ooooo yeah for Thingamababy!!!! God has quite the sense of humor doesn't he??? Tres decided to be breathed into existance just days into my bachelor's degree program when we were "taking a break" from trying to make her after a long 15 months of trying. My new niece/nephew that is coming along decided to be made in the midst of moving/Christmas/trip for a wedding/unemployment but was nevertheless welcomed with joy after 27 months!!

Hugs to you and Thingamababy!!

Joy in the Burbs... said...

Congratulations! Can't wait for the adventures of Thingamababy!

What timing. I think you have timed this perfectly. Now Mr. deAlba has to do all cleaning and major pushing around of furntiure.
Don't want to upset baby Thingamababy.

We've moved six times (major moves with big semi trucks, packers movers, etc.) I was pregnant during two of those moves. So it is a handy excuse and you should use it for all its worth sister.

I'm happy to hear the baby news and I'm hear to listen to whatever you got to say and whenever you need to say it. OK.


stefanie said...

Yay for Thingamababy, which may be the longest name I've ever heard of for such a tiny little person!

Sassy Britches said...

Oh MY!!!!!!!! Look at YOU! I'm so happy that Thingamababy is coming into your life and into your family.

I know people say things like "I'm praying for you," but I have never been a remembering-to-pray-specifically kind of gal...BUT I have prayed for you every night and morning since you told us about your move! So, we're all here with you!

Carol said...

Congrats!! That is such awesome news.

I'm praying for you, and your new bub and your existing family. Praying for a new house for you too :)


Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

How wonderful. Only idea I have for the pukes is figure out what time of day you've got it and avoid anything that smells during that time. I didn't eat Italian food for two years after Teenage Monkey was born, it was that bad. And drink water, lots of water. Congratulations.


tinsenpup said...

That's the most wonderful news, Givinya, but I'm so sorry that you're sick and that you have to struggle through all of this right now. You know that the very worst of it will pass soon enough though, don't you? And my goodness, I only glimpse a small part of you here, but I can plainly see that you have the extraordinary strength and resilience that will bring you through this. In the meantime, care for yourself, please, and do whatever you need to to process this terrible blow.

GreenJello said...

Oh, congratulations!!! My best friend has a little one coming about the same time as you. I'm so excited for you both!

For nausea-- eat lots of protein. Drink a protein shake (or an Instant Breakfast) before you get out of bed in the morning. Drink it lying down with a straw.

Eat little snacks of protein-- cheese sticks, yogurt, hummus, etc. throughout the day.

It really does help the nausea.

And I really feel for you having to move while pregnant-- I had to move when I was in my last month of pregnancy, 14 hours away from my old home. And we didn't have movers... had to pack and unpack it all by ourselves, with help from some friends and family.

Hairline Fracture said...

Congratulations on Thingamababy! I hope you feel better soon and that the move goes smoothly. I haven't had to move while pregnant, but we did remodel the house while I was pregnant with my first child.

The Blonde Duck said...

I hope you get everything settled! Congrats on the baby!

Louisa said...

CONGRATULATIONS! This would surely have been adding to your stress, despite bringing you great joy! Wonderful news. Can't wait to hear how things progress. God Bless xo