Settled and Happy

God has seemed awfully silent and distant for weeks. The last time I remember really being "with" Him was just before news of this Toowoomba job. I seemed to be getting confirmation every day that this is exactly where he wanted us, and that he had provided this house, Sonny's new kindy, our local school, and everything else for us. I had such a sense of His provision in those days.

Since the decision was made to move us to Toowoomba, I have lost all sense of communing with Him. Where has He gone? I miss Him. It has become a habit to "hang out" with Him, most often done when I'm in the kitchen trying to clean the uncleanable and tidy the untidyable. He always seems to watch me work there.

Not recently. And I've been doing my daily readings, trying to find something from Him that might give me an indication that He's still beside me, happy in some slight way that I've agreed to the move despite being shrouded in tears.

Last night I read a few things that seemed to comfort me, even though they're not really in context. I usually worry about things being out of context, but I'm going to take this for what it is.

Firstly, I had to catch up on the reading for Saturday because I spent all that night in tears. The "Respond" bit said this:

What difficulties do you face today? Before you tell God about them, first focus on him, reminding yourself of his greatness and goodness. Ask him to reveal himself to you, then pray about any and every problem you're facing.

But He didn't reveal Himself to me, and I felt lonely in an I-Miss-My-God sort of way.

But then yesterday's reading was from Psalm 113. It was one of those joyful 'Praise the Lord' ones, and the ending was about God's care for the poor and needy. The final verse seemed to be for me, although I am not a barren woman and neither poor nor needy in the sense it was written.

He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of her children.
Praise the Lord. (Ps 113:9)

If that's for me, then that's very good. He will lead us to the home he has for us, and we will settle there. I like that word: settle. It's the lack of it that has had me in tears. Will He really settle me? Settled. I like that thought. I need to be settled by May-ish, and the long and convoluted reasons for this can wait for another post.

Then it says "as a happy mother". Oh my, that's exactly what I want to be again. I dream of having our own place, being settled and being happy!

Please pray for us, that God will lead us to the place He has for us, and that we will be settled and happy.