03 August 2008

Honesty

It's been a difficult four days. Sonny Ma-Jiminy and Smoochy Girl have been in terrible moods, and I have been steaming out the ears. There have been many tears (not from me) and plenty of shouting (from all three of us).

I said to Sonny tonight, "I'm sorry it's been a difficult few days. The kids have been tired and crazy. Mummy's been so upset." He replied, "We've been angry." He understands.

Now could someone please tell me why I cannot honestly tell people it's been rough without the condescending rubbish pouring forth before I've even finished speaking?

"Oh, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself!" (Hard on myself? When? I just said it's been tough.)

"You shouldn't worry about any of this." (Well, it's been quite tough on me, but feel free not to worry about it yourself.)

"Don't 'sell yourself short', you're doing a great job." (Well yes, I am doing a great job with a difficult set of circumstances, but having you patronisingly telling me that honestly admitting when it's been tough is 'selling myself short' isn't helping.)

It's all said with the best of intentions. But when did honesty amount to denigrating oneself?

8 comments:

Marie Reed said...

Hmmmm... It's hard to comment on that. I'm sure that people don't want to sound patronizing. They just want to be cheery instead of saying that life is poop:)

mrsbear0309 said...

Aww, keep your chin up. Don't let it get you down. Stay strong and put your best foot forward. Don't blame yourself. Never give up, never surrender...(OK I'm honestly not sure about that last one, I think it's from a move...) In case it didn't come across well, I was trying to be funny, NOT condescending. ;-) Happy Sunday.

Adelaine said...

Aww I'm sorry things are tough :( It seems like we all go through spells like that and nothing anyone says or does will help. I hope things start looking up for you....just remember "This too shall pass..." :)

Mrs. Tantrum said...

OMG!! I love that you get these corny responses too! I am also glad to hear that I am not alone with the crazies lately. It is great to admit that MOTHERHOOD IS HARD. It is also nice to know that you are not ALONE. It is also nice to know that Sonny understands. That helps. Now pack them in a kayak and get over here. They can be wild together. And never once will I tell you it is a stage or it will pass. I am not sure that it will.

Jen said...

There must be something in the air. My kids are CRANKY! I don't know what yo do with them. I just thank god for bedtime every single night. Lets hope for both of us this will pass soon.

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh thank you all my wonderful friends! This morning has started badly, but after reading your comments, I've decided I won't commit some foul crime in retaliation, instead I'll just blog about it. Thanks for your comments :)

Tracy P. said...

That's such an easy thing to do--we women seem to have a way of rushing to one another's defense. Good for you for saying sorry to Sonny. That's not to take all the blame, it's simply to express regret, and the desire to make things work better.

Anonymous said...

See you tomorrow. Let's have a platitude-free day and acknowledge that life is tough for no good reason sometimes. Jen.