Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: And More Rules

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

04 August 2008

And More Rules

Oooh, Oooh, I've thought of a few more!

DO NOT empty a container of dog food onto the path and drench the scene with water.

And above all, as you have repeatedly been reminded since you were one year old,

DO NOT eat dog food.

Not even if "she wasn't hungry and she was happy for me to eat it."

4 comments:

Swift Jan said...: Oh dear... this is DEFINATLY a 21st story!! LOL; 04 August, 2008 12:20
Jen said...: I am sorry but YUCK!. The things that kids will put into their mouths.; 04 August, 2008 12:26
Tracy P. said...: Oh, no! Yucky yucky. I've been catching up from bottom posts to top. Especially sad that my recommendation to have another piece of cake isn't a more satisfying thought. Extra frosting might make up the difference?; 04 August, 2008 13:51
Elizabeth Channel said...: Boy--you could do a whole series with this kind of thing:

I love it when tiny frogs are lost in the house, and yes, bring those baby roaches you found inside to lure the frog out!

There's no need to shower--just wipe your mud-encrusted knees on the one clean rug I own!

Absolutely, you can swing on that poison ivy vine---why don't you give your baby sister a boost so she can swing, too?

Such fun!; 06 August, 2008 14:15

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

04 August 2008

And More Rules

4 comments: