Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Burning Questions

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

27 August 2008

Burning Questions

As you may know, people often find my blog by Googling something odd.

Today I am going to get Sonny Ma-Jiminy to answer some of the questions that have been asked of Google, who thought that the answers must somehow lie here, in my blog.

Q: How much should you pay for a used ukulele?
SMJ: What?

Q: What is the worst thing to do after eating weet bix?
SMJ: What?

Q: Smoochy are you a friend of Dorothy's?
SMJ: What?

Q: Ways to put your used pregnancy tests to good use?
SMJ: What?

Q: I took a pregnancy test and it got really hot, why?
SMJ: What?

And here are some other searches that have landed here: Killed by a blue-ringed octopus / Statistics on weet-bix customers / Red red wine ukulele lesson / Ukulele cake topper / Killing pregnant flies / Killing fly thing / Falling fly ukulele / Tablet rainbow ukulele / Ukulele wraparound t-shirt / Flyin fine / Ukulele while on toilet / Hester ukulele.

Hope you found what you were looking for (although I'm sure you didn't.)

13 comments:

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...: Used pregnancy tests?
Seriously?
EWWW!!!!!!; 27 August, 2008 19:48
tinsenpup said...: I always find it a little weird that people ask Google complete questions like that. It's like they think Google is some mystical oracle that will answer their question if it's feeling benevolent or send them off to read about bed bugs if it's not.; 27 August, 2008 19:53
Heather of the EO said...: I too LOVE to look over my google searchers! I've shared some on my blog too cause I just think it's hilarious.
And yeah, why the full questions for Mr.Google?; 27 August, 2008 22:42
Unknown said...: I really want to meet some of the people who are looking for these things... but then I don't, because i think they'll scare me.; 27 August, 2008 23:40
Jen said...: totally funny craziness.; 28 August, 2008 00:59
Jen said...: how to people think of these things? they must have nothing better to do or I am just not the creative.; 28 August, 2008 01:00
Stephanie said...: Those are too funny. And I love SMJ's responses. I have a feeling Jack's going to be at that stage very soon. :); 28 August, 2008 04:40
Nauntie Lush said...: Wait until he starts asking "why" when you ask him a question, or better yet, give him the answer to a question. I think it is far worse than the "what" phase was.

I vote for Ukulele while on toilet for the winner!

We are voting for the winner aren't we?!?; 28 August, 2008 06:52
Givinya De Elba said...: Oh no, he started saying "Why" ages ago. It has driven me mad for months, and now this little "What? I can't hear you" phase is annoying me so much.

No blog post could capture the frustration of when a 3 year old starts with the "Why?" questions.

But I guess you knew that already!; 28 August, 2008 12:43
MaricrisG said...: so Ukelele! That's all I'll say. Google does seem very specific with words, don't you think? :); 28 August, 2008 12:58
Zip n Tizzy said...: Love it!
I also love to look at sites that have google ads, and see what ads have been triggered by their posts... like the guy who was writing about how lovely the nesting birds were in his yard, invoking ads for bird traps in his side bar.
Now I'm going to go see who's googling me!; 28 August, 2008 15:02
Tracy P. said...: I bet you never thought of this lovely by-product of your title!

Hey, I've got something for you. Stop by to either play along or just know you're appreciated!; 28 August, 2008 15:12
musingwoman said...: A ukulele cake topper?; 29 August, 2008 10:58

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

27 August 2008

Burning Questions

13 comments: