25 July 2008

Three arms would be nice

My doctor always says that when we fall pregnant for the first time, our bodies should not waste time and effort creating nausea, exhaustion, lax joints or tender gums. Instead, our bodies would be better off growing a third arm. Because we're going to need it.

I remembered this today when taking a large pram and two children down a travelator at the shops. At the beginning of the trip, both children were sitting nicely in the pram, one in front of the other. By the time we finished and were on the way home, Sonny Ma-Jiminy was sitting in there, but Smoochy Girl was threatening to climb out and fall on the ground so I carried her in my left arm.

I walked quickly down the travelator towards a man who was not walking. He was having a ride. (This behaviour could rightfully feature in my sidebar under "Things I Hate.") As we got closer to him, Sonny became worried I would smash straight into him (which I wouldn't) and shouted, "Don't crash into that man, Mummy! Look Out!"

He put his hand out to the side to catch a handrail to slow the pram down. This made the pram veer to the left, and it took a huge effort by the right half of my body to keep it going straight ahead.

Smoochy wanted to leap out of my left arm and head downwards so she could grab the handrail too. The left half of my body struggled not to drop her as she grabbed the rail and pulled herself off balance.

Then she became worried that she'd fall out of my arms and so she reached up, grabbed the neck of my top and pulled it violently downwards.

Argh! Exposure at the shops! No! All I could do was grab my neckline with my teeth and haul it upwards.

Some days, I really need that third arm.


Blarney said...

FUNNY! I frequently find myself flashing others when I least expect it.
Thanks for stopping in my blog the other day!

Adelaine said...

That sounds like quite the excursion!

And what is it with the kids always baring the ladies for their Momma's? Cait will do that all the time!

Agreed - a third arm would be nice....

Jen said...

Oh, I want a third arm, maybe even a fourth. That would make things so much easier.
I really dis-like how kids so that to your shirt and help you flash people. People that I know like my father in law are especially embarrassing.

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

I need a third arm and eyes in the back of my head.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

My kids love to flash MY body at the unsuspecting public!
And I'm sorry to tell you, it doesn't get better with age. My kids are 15, 12, and 7, and I still find myself carrying EVERYTHING while they carry nothing. Or a feather or something. I constantly say "Do I look like an octopus to you?"

Crazy Sister said...

I'm happy enough with two arms, but would settle for no stinkin boobs. They never contributed much to the Baby Feeding thing, and it wouldn't make much difference to my profile. Then my kids could flash my bare chest all they want.

Givinya De Elba said...

How about get rid of both of them, leaving room for TWO spare arms?

Melissa said...

Can I just say....been there! I can so appreciate your desire for that third arm. In fact, when we had our third, I looked at my husband and said, "Well, we're out numbered!"
Thanks for again for stopping by!

Becky said...

3 ARms!! Now that would be great!!

I like the " Do I look like an octopus" cooment... might start using that one :D