Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: The Local Fishwrapper

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

19 July 2011

The Local Fishwrapper

When I was a kid, this town's newspaper was different. It was well-respected as a reliable source of news but in recent years it has become sensational, with ghastly attention-grabbing headlines to mask a dearth of ghastly attention-grabbing stuff going on in the town.

When we were in the process of moving here, casual visits to our new town were marred by catching sight of the local paper screaming at us: "Woman tied up, raped in city hotel" and "Man faces court over murder" and "Couple charged over firearm offenses."

So maybe there wasn't such a dearth of ghastly attention-grabbing stuff going on after all.

And now, you don't even want to win the car they are giving away.

7 comments:

Emily Sue said...: Ha! That's gold (in a really bad way). It's also a little disturbing that the 'win a car' section is bigger than the murder story. A bit like those news stories on TV... "3 Australians killed overseas! THREE AUSTRALIANS! Oh yes, and 15,000 other people... and three Australians!" Er, perspective?; 19 July, 2011 23:33
Andi said...: Wow! Our papers seem much more "newsy." Based solely on that photo, mind you.; 20 July, 2011 11:12
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Yeah, that's no good.; 20 July, 2011 20:44
Catherine said...: A very topical post right now Ms. de Elba, given the scandals surrounding Rupert Murdoch. If only he owned the Chronicle - it may just be shut down. Wouldn't that be a boon!!

It made me laugh to read this post. Dave and I laugh about The Chronicle every time we are up there, although it sometimes is seriously un-laughable. There is always, ALWAYS some pedophile story on the front, or something similar, as you say, and always, always sensationalised, poorly written, unfactual etc.

SERIOUSLY - WHO would put the "win a car" ad on the same page as that headline?!

If only they had YOU to write for them, things would improve, would they not?; 20 July, 2011 21:29
Unknown said...: I think there's a general trend for news to be sensationalist. We know too much--there's too much info available--too many news channels and outlets so 'they' think the only way to attract readers is to sensationalize everything. It makes me weary.; 21 July, 2011 04:29
The Accidental Housewife said...: I loved the Darwin papers, there was either a cane toad, a croc or a shark on the front cover every day. Or occasionally a giant python. One time there was even a shark fighting a crocodile! Win!

The real news was hidden deep inside - the day the pope died it was only mentioned briefly on page 8, in the world news section. Lol.; 21 July, 2011 08:18
tinsenpup said...: That's just too perfect! Awesome!; 24 July, 2011 01:05

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

19 July 2011

The Local Fishwrapper

7 comments: