02 July 2011

Holidays, iPads and weird looking hats

The first week of school holidays has been and gone, leaving me gasping for air.  Three highly-assertive young children and a husband still at work is quite a joyride.  With a little less "joy" and a whole lot more "ride."  In addition to that, I feel like I deserve a holiday myself.  If only my maid was a little more productive when I step down from my daily tasks ... oh wait, she's imaginary.  That explains it.

When I decide to treat myself to some time off and have a little rest in my comfy chair in my sunny corner, it looks a little different to how I imagine it.  The way I imagine it is pretty much the way you imagined it when you read that, and to be honest, it does start out well.  I get comfortable in my chair in the sun with a warm blanket over me and a Samurai Sudoku on my iPad.  Soon, things take a turn for the worse.  Woody clambers up to sit to the left of me and takes my iPad, insisting he needs to play Monkey Preschool Lunchbox.  Jessie clambers up to sit on the right of me and makes Woody mad by "helping" him play Monkey Preschool Lunchbox.  Buzz then sits on the left arm of the chair, making Woody scream loudly at having his personal space invaded.  Buzz takes the iPad off the other two and while they are both screaming, he sets up a game of Tic Tac Toe.  The three of them attempt to play a two-player game of Tic Tac Toe across my lap, but three children don't play two-player games very well.  Woody's technique is to stab repeatedly at the screen, randomly assigning nought-cross-nought-cross-nought-cross until he has lost the game for one of his siblings, who gets very angry at Woody, who gets so angry in return that he is unable to play for a little while.  This allows Buzz and Jessie to play a two-player game together.  Jessie doesn't understand the turn-taking nature of the game, and once Buzz has assigned his first cross and she has done her first nought, she decides to do a second one quickly to get the edge on Buzz.  What she doesn't realise is that the game is now going to place a cross in her second square, making her mad because she wanted two noughts in a row, and making Buzz mad because that's not where he wanted to put his cross.  At this point I then decide to get up out of the armchair, because I'm having The Worst Rest Ever.  And I find that I am firmly pinned under the blanket by the bodies of three small and angry children, and I cannot leave.

There are many things I should have done this week but didn't, one of which was write down the funny things I've heard my little guys saying so I can blog them later.  Sometimes it's been hilarious but mostly it's just odd everyday conversations that, if I remember to write them down, will always remind me of what it was like living with Buzz (6), Jessie (4) and Woody (nearly 2).  Conversations like:

Jessie, shouting from the other end of the house: "BUZZ!  THE WOT-WOTS ARE ON!!!"
- no reply -
Jessie: "BUZZ!  THE WOT-WOTS!"
Me: "Hey Buddy, it sounds like Jessie is telling you that the Wot-Wots are on."
Buzz: "Wot?"

It was funny at the time.

This morning Mr de Elba pointed to a scruffy filthy old nylon hat on the kitchen table.  

Mr de E, in all innocence: "Does that hat belong to one of your parents?"
Me, looking at it: "No, I think it's actually an old one from the dress-ups box."
- pause -
Me: "But it's a fair question."
Both roll about laughing.  Sorry Mum and Dad.

Roll on Week Two of holidays.  I'm going to put my iPad away until it's over.


Hippomanic Jen said...

Ah! I was part of a conversation today about how kids today have got nothing to look forward to because they have every technological gizmo possible before they hit school. I now understand that it's so Mum can sit quietly in the sunny corner, playing Sudoku on her own iPad.

PS, Glad to see you as hooked on technology as I am!

Hairline Fracture said...

That's probably for the best. I sympathize; we are on week 5 of the summer break (I think).

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh yes Jen, sometimes the technological gizmos come out ... To give us a short break from the playing with, feeding, cleaning, dressing, talking with, showing and explaining, re-dressing, teaching how to fold their own clothes, teaching how to sweep the floors, teaching how to use the broom, supervising how to mow the lawn, etc, etc, etc that otherwise fills the days! Sometimes the little guys just don't understand that I spend most of the 14 awake hours fully devoted to their nutrition, cleanliness and intellectual development, and they deny me even a quick 20-minute oasis with my iPad first, and my eyes shut.

Dawn said...

Pinned under a blanket by three small and angry children--that cracked me up! And made me happy my children are large and grown. Then it made me sad cause I remembered them when they were small. Then I remembered the Angry part. And was glad again!

The Accidental Housewife said...

I love my iPad, but so does little Miss Two, and we have plenty of power struggles over the "hi-dad". I win when I'm not pinned under a feeding / sleeping baby, but if I am, she knows she's safe if she moves to the far chair. *sigh*

Half the time she switches on the game with the annoying repetitive music, then leaves it running and tootles off to do her own thing anyway.

Crazy Sister said...

Oh dear, my first thought was, "That'll be Dad's hat."

Is there a face drawn on the top to stop magpies swooping?

Your ipad sounds like a lot of trouble. But I suppose it would take more energy to sit there using it and repeatedly telling three kids why they can't have it.

Crazy Sister said...

Loving Dawn's comment. That's a stage of life to look forward to!

Emily Sue said...

There have been mornings when my alarm has gone off and I haven't been able to get out of bed because I've been pinned down by the cats. I never have to share my laptop with them though. (I can also push them off the bed without getting in trouble from DOCS...)

Swift Jan said...

I don't own any cool gizmos like an ipad, or even a smart phone. I think that maybe is a blessing in disguise!!??

tinsenpup said...

Similar scenes ensue with toddler + iPhone. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking ever letting her hold it in the first place. There's that damned slippery slope again.

B said...

I am googling whether there are boarding schools to send kids to, just in the holidays. I think boarding school could make an immense amount of money out of this plan. Right now, in the middle of week THREE of holidays, I would pay an immense amount of money for a break from sandwiches, butt wiping, crying, snack making, crying, car trips, crying and well, crying.... Sigh...

One day we will look back at these times and say 'Those were the days" - how depressing.... (I am saying all of this with my tongue firmly in my cheek - I would not really send my kids to boarding school - but a girl can dream.)

Ritamay said...

I posted a comment and it's not there - :(