The title said it all, I thought.
15 July 2010
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I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.
I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.
I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.
I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.
I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.
Buzz is the Superhero who saves my day. He is a faithful friend and brother, willing to lead his sidekicks into intergalactic adventures ... to infinity and beyond.
Jessie is a feisty cowgirl who knows her mind and is willing to give anyone a piece of it. She is wild and spirited, she loves large animals but is terrified of small harmless critters. Jessie would rather find a rattlesnake in her boot than have her hair washed and brushed.
Woody loves rounding up his gang and charming the crowd. He's not keen on the war-whoops of the other varmints or on being smothered with too much affection, but he loves seeing the lay of the land while riding high in the arms of his Sheriffs.
Rex is the much-awaited newest member of our outfit. He joined us in July 2012, and is therefore too young to have much said about him. He drinks a lot of milk and all he can say is "Rarr!"
"No, Buzz, I AM your father."
Mr de Elba is dark and handsome with a loud laugh. He is a fun and loving father who enjoys spending time with his children. He's great at computers - this means I have my own personal IT Guy, but also that he often falls asleep in front of computer games at night. He makes great coffee, does the best Chicken Tikka Masala, cooks a mean barbecue and plays guitar frightfully well. He is, however, no good at doing accents.
Mr de Elba is dark and handsome with a loud laugh. He is a fun and loving father who enjoys spending time with his children. He's great at computers - this means I have my own personal IT Guy, but also that he often falls asleep in front of computer games at night. He makes great coffee, does the best Chicken Tikka Masala, cooks a mean barbecue and plays guitar frightfully well. He is, however, no good at doing accents.
Bullseye has been contributing to Blue-Tongue Lizard and Bandicoot Attrition Rates since we moved in to a new house which backs onto some forest. She either moves in quantum motion or possesses the power of ubiquity. She can often be seen, apparently simultaneously, at both the side door and the back door. Her arch-nemeses include dogs and other animals smaller than her. She harbours a deep envy of aeroplanes and birds who possess what she so desperately craves: Altitude.
<a href="http://friendlyblackandwhitedog.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e60/Givinya/button.jpg" alt="http://friendlyblackandwhitedog.blogspot.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>
My sweet niece ...
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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.
Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.
Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).
I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.
I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.
And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."
This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.
Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.
Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).
I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.
I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.
And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."
I know. It seems crazy to go back to pseudonyms now that Mister Internet knows our real (first) names. I blogged for 8 months with real names because I love the names that I gave my children, and I wanted my friends to know us better! Now that you do, I'm ready to go back to my original blog genre using pseudonyms, so here we go.
This does mean that "Jessie" is onto her fourth Blog Name. What can I say? I've never found the perfect one.
This does mean that "Jessie" is onto her fourth Blog Name. What can I say? I've never found the perfect one.
No, they didn't.
They called me Katherine.
I go by Kate.
I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'
In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.
Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.
They called me Katherine.
I go by Kate.
I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'
In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.
Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.
"Er, sweetheart, killing a fly with a ukulele is probably the wrong thing to do ..."
I thought it sounded like something I'd say; something that summed up the parenting experience quite well. A bizarre yet offhand, languid suggestion that pest control was best achieved without the use of musical instruments.
I thought it sounded like something I'd say; something that summed up the parenting experience quite well. A bizarre yet offhand, languid suggestion that pest control was best achieved without the use of musical instruments.
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11 comments:
With two cats in the house I doubt I'll ever find a HAL-dead mouse...
Err.. or even a HALF-dead mouse...
Emily Sue doesn't realise that the cats BRING IN the half-dead mice and let them go in order to play with them later.
...And I just remembered that her cats don't get outside. So she's safe.
And you're right. The title is pretty darn descriptive.
Poor you.
Once, long ago, I brought home what appeared to be a nice female kitty from the Law office where I worked. She had a bad habit of getting caught on the Senior's Jaguar.
The 1st Morning after I brought her home my wife stepped out onto the screened in porch to find the severed head of a cardinal bird staring up at her from the welcome mat, tongue lolling. That was only the beginning.
It turned out I had rescued Satan's kitty. She went to live with Randy the goat on my brother's farm. the end.
One night while I was peacefully slumbering, our sweet little cat Chloe jumped up on our bed. This is fairly normal for her because she likes to sneak in between my husband and I to steal our warmth in the winter. However, something about the way she gave a partially smothered meow bothered me enough that I woke right up. Yes! The little devil had brought a half-dead mouse into our bed!!! Apparently she wanted to show it off, or maybe she thought we wanted a midnight snack!
You can only imagine the screeching, jumping, and general mayhem that followed! The cat took off. The mouse took off. I made my husband get up and look all over the house for the mouse so it could be disposed of before I would go back to sleep (or allow him to go back to sleep)!
And even then, I slept all night long with one eye open in case there was a repeat performance.
Um, yeah. I hope to goodness that never happens to me.
I had to clean up a mouse that our cat got recently and it was so gross that I almost vomited on Claire.
Half dead - that's the worst of both worlds.
Darn.
Is that better or worse than half a dead mouse?
BF #1 once caught a mouse between a placemat and a Tupperware bowl (Crescendo - blue for the T'ware boffins)... I didn't want him to kill it, so he let it go at the bus stop at the bottom of the street....
Little did we know at the time that this was the 'food scout' and whilst out at the bus stop, he let his posse know about the amazing assortment of snacks in our larders, and the nights that followed saw us catch over 15 mice.... Eeek.....
There is never only one mouse - half dead or not.... They are not solitary creatures....
Mwah,
BB
PS - our lovely kitty (may she RIP under the compost bin) used to bring in blue tongue lizards and other native wildlife- not nice to find under your bed.... She also used to attack the cat next door and inserted 'pockets' into its fur..... Cats can be cruel and cool....
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