Last night, I had a dream that we were packing and moving. I was crying a lot. I woke up and my body was shaking with real sobs and I was drenched in tears.
I've been doing okay, but I think it's time to cry again now. Now that we've got repairs on our home underway, the next steps are to list it for sale in a few weeks, and to find a home in Toowoomba we can buy.
Both of these next steps have me in knots.
I am afraid we won't be able to sell our house here, despite the fact that Ipswich has not been hit by the downturn, the market here remains strong and our house is a very attractive buy!
I'm also afraid that every house we see in Toowoomba will be un-buyable for SOME reason or other. The Mr and I need to both be in love with a place before we spend that amount of money on it, and that's a VERY BIG CALL.
So you see, the tears. Praying is coming easier for me these days, so I'm able to be more constructive in "presenting my requests!"
The calendar on my wall still sits at the place it was on the day I heard that the Mr wanted to move. I just went into shock and never flipped over the pages. Maybe it's time to take it down and get on with things.
08 February 2009
The Dream, The Fears, The Calendar
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14 comments:
I am glad that praying is getting easier. That is progress my friend. Luff you xxoo
With the praying coming easier, maybe it will be easier to flip the pages. One step at a time...
We moms are nesters--pregnancy increases it exponentially, I swear. We moved into this house 7 months pregnant. I would be in knots too. Praying for beautiful results.
I know that things are uncertain. Just six short months ago, I was there too. I was rebellious about moving away from my family to a strange place where I knew no one. And what about having two houses, two payments. Our house went on the market in June 2008 and by the grace of a merciful God, that house sold on Dec. 4, 2008. We did not get as much as we wanted for it, however, it paid off the mortgage and allowed us to be credit card debt free for the first time in our marriage. I can tell you for sure that house sold because of prayer. I believe that with every fiber of my being. So just keep on praying for God's will. I am worried about my friend "down under" I saw the fires on the evening news and immediately thought about you all. Please be safe.
If crying is what you need right now then go for it. I'm very glad you're feeling better about prayer and able to bring things to God. He is awesomely powerful and can be trusted absolutely with all the details of your move... He also loves you more than you can imagine and totally gets where you're at when you're anxious, stressed, freaked out and worried.
And in other news (okay, not really)... talking with someone... like, maybe a counsellor... might be a good thing. Yes, I know, I'm a nag and you are entirely welcome to tell me to shut up and mind my own business. I just think it might help the anxiety to be less of a burden for you. It won't make everything rosy all of a sudden but it might make things a little easier inside your head. Anxiety can be so tremendously crippling; chatting with someone can really help. (Of course you may already be doing this and just haven't blogged about it... in which case, again, tell me to shut up and mind my own business!)
Praying for you, my bloggy friend. xx
I saw the reference to a dream at the beginning of your post and thought, "there's no way your dream last night could be worse than mine."
But you win - moving and the emotional upset is incredibly real for you at the moment. There is (thankfully) very little chance that I'll ever end up topless at a huge ecumenical church gathering in Toowoomba.
Cry if you need to. Cry if you want to. Pray if you can, and know that even if you can't there are some people praying on your behalf (and one of them is Jesus). Still have my criteria for a house for the de Elbas in green on my white board in my office. I've added "That you both love".
Sounds like it's time to practice handing it over to God to handle for you. :)
And a good cry doesn't hurt, either. :) :) :)
It's obviously weighing on your mind and spirit if you are having dreams like this, but I'm praying the Lord will pull you through this time and give you the strength to turn that calendar page and live life to its fullest no matter what house you are in. The most important and precious things in life are going with you. Even if the do climb and rub toothpaste on your carpet.
♥ Joy
So glad that praying is coming easier for you now. Keep presenting, in the ongoing active sense, these things on your mind that are weighing you down. I'm praying for you.
the unknown is so scary but I know that it will all work out. Maybe not exactly as you want but it will b/c you have God on your side.
Look at all of the caring women who are looking out for you in so many ways, including prayer. Aside from the strength God can provide for you, take heart knowing that there are so many others sending you the most positive of thoughts and wishes.
Crying is a good thing, if it can help you feel the release you need. You're also probably feeling those extra special hormones reserved for pregnant mommies. Go easy on yourself.
I'm inclined to think that even if the house you end up in is not exactly what you want, you will work to make it home and in time, I think it'll become a warm, safe place to heal from all this uprooting. And it'll be your new baby's very first home. That's going to be a very big deal, indeed.
You are so right. This time next year, the story will be much different, and we will be settled. What a lovely thought.
this too shall pass ....le xoxo
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