In Queensland, we're coming to the end of a two-week break. The first week was taken up with following Mr de Elba on one of his secondary school camps. We spent a [rainy, overcast] week at the beach and Buzz had the opportunity to be involved in the electives that the teenagers were doing - Extreme Fishing (catching fish and then barbecuing and eating them right there on the boat) and Laser Force. Buzz and Jessie went to a late-night session at the bowling alley and enjoyed it immensely. They also followed Mr de Elba to the beach and discovered a love for the surf. Woody and I stayed close to camp but we did go down to the beach one day.
But for the mother (that's me), the days have been long. I sarcastically tell myself that although the holiday has been good, I just haven't had enough time to spend in the laundry or the kitchen. I've kept on being interrupted from my joyful washing or sweeping to be forced to sit down and take it easy, to drink cups of tea made for me and to listen to interminable monologues on how grateful my family are for my tireless 18-hour efforts on their behalf.
For some reason, I inexplicably feel the selfish urge to ask for another little holiday - a real one this time. I have in mind to take a break away from the laundry and the kitchen I so love, even away from the clamouring of those people I love most dearly, and spend some time receiving cooked meals and not having to clear up unreasonable mess. A holiday where I wouldn't have nine random items heaped up into my personal space by my dearly loved ones. A time to rest. A time to focus on me.
I don't have a lot of money available for such a break, so here's what I have in mind.
What would I have to do (i.e., what crime could I commit) to receive a light custodial sentence of, say, six months to a year? I should clarify here that I'm not asking for a parole period, and I need to make abundantly clear that I'm talking white-collar resort prison here, not the other kind.
Please bear in mind that as a first time offender, leniency could be a real danger. The ultimate disaster would be to be given Community Service. It would be in no way satisfactory to be asked to pick up rubbish beside the road as well as picking up rubbish at home. The whole point of this exercise would be to avoid the current interminable Community Service I've got going on already.
Please comment with suggestions, and also let me know if you'd be interesting in being involved in the scheme (if you're thinking of some "minor" (ha!) bank heist, I'm going to need some help!)
Bring on The Holiday!