05 March 2010

Not Me Friday

I know that if you're participating, you're supposed to do your "Not Me!"s on Monday.  Well, this may be my first "Not Me":

I did NOT get so fed up with a bunch of things that I posted my "Not Me!" three days early.

There.  Now there are a few other things that have been rattling around in my brain and I feel the best way to express them is by stating most emphatically that they are NOT the case.

Okay.  Well, to start with, I have NOT allowed my blog to go for days without a post.  I didn't let it languish into a whole other month.  And if I ever did, the reasons would NOT be these pathetic excuses that follow:

  • 1.  I have NOT experienced wirters block, oh no, NOT ME!  I never get that.  I always find a heap of wonderful, witty, insightful and intersting things to blog, every single day.
  • 2.  I have NOT been spending too much time mucking around with my blog template instead.  That would be a waste of time.  I would most certainly just make a template, get it right, and be done with it.
  • 3.  I do NOT have a major problem with a navigation bar I made for my new template, and I do NOT have a major problem with the comments disappearing from my posts in my template-making blog.  Nope!  Everything I need to know is easily Googleable and HTML is a piece of cake!  Ooo yes indeedy.
  • 4.  I am not putting a pathetic plea right here for anyone who can help me with a little HTML to please come to my aid and help me out of my puddle of HTML woe.

I am NOT a little behind in housework.  I had the place really nice on Monday and Tuesday, and there's no way that it would be a tad untidy by Friday.  In particular there are not damp globs of baby-chomped bread on my floor.

After cooking something quite amazing and absolutely exhausting (highly recommended: try it or regret it) last night, I have NOT collapsed in a heap today and am blogging instead of preparing my chosen meal for tonight: that which a small family friend calls "sketti bol".  Nope, I am on the ball every single day around here.

And I did NOT fail to attend the school event at which I was planning to discuss my problems with the school "Lollipop Lady", thereby causing my issues to go unaired, and the Lollipop Lady to go on being beastly to children and their parents alike.  I have NOT struggled with a strong urge to swear at her loudly in front of all the school children and their parents, nor have I had a hard job restraining myself from forcibly inserting her Lollipop Stop Sign into her.

I have not fallen off the healthy-eating bandwagon.  I haven't got a dryer full of clothes waiting to be folded, I don't have a washing machine of towels to be put in the dryer and I haven't failed to walk the dog despite the rain.

The big children are not currently fighting, the baby is not awake and crying, and I am not going slowly mad.

I think I will now NOT pour myself a small glass of red wine.


CraftyMummy said...

I'm NOT with you - I did NOT have that glass of wine last night either! Nor did I lie awake all night worrying about things that are so not worth worrying about! I too do NOT have washing and ironing waiting, or dishes in the kitchen sink.
But today's another day...

Hippomanic Jen said...

Oh, Kate-me-mate, I'm so sorry for all the things that are NOT not happening at your place at the moment.

All computers should die, and I wish I could give you a hand with HTML, but alas, I'm not able to speak the lingo.

Crazy Sister said...

Laughing at the sign being inserted into the lollipop lady! If only she knew how close you come to maiming her everyday! She probably thinks of you as the nice, smiling mother with the difficult children.

Givinya De Elba said...

You know what, I'm the eye-contact-avoiding mother with the totally normal children. Today Jessie (A-L) was running as usual up to the orange line where she promptly stopped as she does every single day, and the lollipop lady, who should know that this is what happens, loudly shouted "Woo!" at her.

I think the lollipop lady is an Extremely Slow Learner.

Givinya De Elba said...

The thing I found most pissofferous is that when she shouts at my kids, I'm usually standing right there.

It's like an implicit vote of no-confidence in my parenting skills.