Rhyming Like A Boss

Remember how I presented some silly rhyming stuff at our church's women's conference last year?  It started here and parts two and three were linked at the end of the post.  Well this year, the lovely people at the Seasons Conference let me come back to present the same segment.

I asked Crazy Sister to come and present the segment with me because she is the the funniest person I know (remember "I'm going to the toilet and I'll bring back a stool"?  Yeah. Funny.)

Our theme for this year's conference was "United" and focussed on the relationships that we have in our lives.  For this, Crazy Sister and I wrote poetry about some of the relationships special to us and presented some of the less-ghastly stuff on the day.  Our first segment was focussed on Limericks, and I wrote this one about my struggles writing clever comments on the statuses of my friends.

Facebook

Of friends, I'd a decent amount
But a large percent of the count
Were all on Facebook
So I took a quick look
And unwittingly got an account.

My list of friends is quite small
But they're lovely and write on my Wall.
And now I find I'm
Good at wasting my time
While saying quite nothing at all.

The trickiest thing now, I find,
Is to write something witty and kind
On everyone's status.
But so they don't hate us,
I click "Like" and hope they don't mind.

"My five year old got a new bike!"
"New joggers! A sale on Nike!"
"Bought a cow on eBay!"
I've nothing to say
So I just hit the button marked "Like."

"We're packing! We're going away!"
"Having lunch at a lovely cafe!"
My Facebook dominion,
Holds no firm opinion,
And so hitting "Like" wins the day.

"I've just been to see a great show!"
"A pic of my kids in the snow!"
I can't tell a lie,
I have no reply
And so clicking "Like" is the go.

"This pub sells the very best beer!"
"My husband is Dad Of The Year!"
This one thing is true:
I'm happy for you!
So I think hitting Like's the idea.

So you've written a status that's splendid,
But a comment I still haven't rendered.
In case you're afraid
That our friendship's low-grade,
Not at all! (... unless you're Unfriended.)

Crazy Sister presented her brilliant pieces "Last Night" and "The Grown-Up Limerick" which I'd persuade her to post over at "Graze" only she's already done it!  Find them at the links above.  Soon, I'll snatch a few moments to share my Sonnet with you.

Success

I made this Automotivator in late 2007 when I had half the number of children I have now.  But in general, I've found that managing two kids was a bit easier than one, three easier than two and four easier than three.  This is mainly because my own skills at 'dealing' have improved, and my care factor for The Unnecessary has decreased.  I'm getting better at triaging my problems, a far cry from the paralysis I used to feel when my firstborn would start crying just as I realised I needed to wee.  That used to make me panic a little.

This weekend, Mr de Elba is away from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon, and so far, we're surviving.  We haven't seen blood or flames, and although things can go from good to bad quite quickly, they can go back to good just as quickly.  This is because the moods of the average three-year-old boy can turn on a dime.  So can those of a feisty five-year-old girl.

I am also decreasing my expectations - the kitchen isn't visitor-ready but at least it's not attracting rats, the clothes are not folded and put away but they're all washed and dried, and I'm planning simple meals like spaghetti bolognese and abandoning these plans in favour of even simpler meals.  Toast, for example.

So we're good.  Blood or flames, I've just got to not care unless I see blood or flames.

Introducing Little Rex

Introducing our new little boy - Timothy Flynn born in the early hours of last Wednesday morning!  In the weeks leading up to his birth I'd been on a limerick binge, and I ended up wishfully writing this one, hoping for a natural spontaneous birth, dreaming of the middle-of-the-night "Honey it's time" moment that I always thought would be nice (and it ended up being quite accurate):

I woke in the night with chagrin,

The babe sought to escape from within

We did a quick race

From our home to The Base

And out popped sweet Timothy Flynn.

Which is quite corny, but I liked it.  Our public hospital is called the Base Hospital, and it's referred to as "the Base" - I hope that makes sense.

I hadn't gone out of my way to tell my blog that we knew we were having a little boy, but it wasn't exactly a secret.  Now that it's definitely out though, I can post this one I wrote after the ultrasound:

We're having (from the ultrasound) another little DUDE.

It seems it would be prudent to start budgeting for food.

Although the food, financially, will surely be the worst,

It seems that we will need another fridge and freezer first.

Maybe I'd posted that already and forgot, and now I don't have time to go back and check.  Sorry if you'd heard that one before.

He was born the day before his due date, about 30 hours before I was booked for an induction - something the doctor wanted to avoid after a previous caesarean.  Many things were tried, but they all failed one by one: walking, hot food, essential oils, etc. In the end, a day of bouncing gently on an exercise ball did the trick - or maybe it was the Thai for lunch and Mexican for dinner - or maybe it was the psychological power of LOOKING at a bottle of castor oil that I was too nervous to actually TAKE for fear of too-strong contractions.  At any rate, by midnight we were wondering if it was 'Time', by 2am we were calling my Mum and Birth Suite, by 3am the midwife was thinking that it was certainly 'Time' ... and then things are fuzzy for me.  I guess that because he was born at 3:23am, whatever happened in those gas-hazed moments was pretty crucial.

Feeding is fun with expressed milk in a bottle! Soon this fun will be over and we'll feed the usual way (prayforus), but for the moment, everyone is enjoying this bit (and so am I, because I have chosen to do it this way BEFORE the crying and blood and countless people checking the attachment only to declare that it's right, it just hurts.)

This little superhero turned three, and we bought a proper cake from a shop, after my disastrous attempt with Jessie's cake in April which I didn't blog because - sigh. We are seriously considering buying cakes for family birthdays from now on because they are SO NICE!  This one was superb!  'Bleurgh' to homemade cakes, particularly mine because I cut corners.

And now I will get back to snuggling with this handsome little prince, as well as driving our new car (where can I unnecessarily drive to today? Whee!), fixing interminable problems with Woody's birthday gifts, driving Buzz and Jessie to and from school, breaking up fights, managing the kitchen and the laundry as best I can, trying to cap my unreasonable rage at some highly-expensive, professionally-fitted, terribly-posh maternity bras that ceased to fit me a week after I bought them (and now there's no hope), and dealing with potential depressive illness in a sadly neglected family dog.  And hugging Mr de Elba, who helps me with all of the above except the bra issue.

I had a baby boy and I can't seem to find time to post about it on my blog because I keep getting interrupted because there's so much else to DO ...

I had a baby boy and I can't seem to find time to post about it on my blog because

I had a baby boy and I can't seem to find time

I had a baby boy

I had

Interminable

At slightly past the never-before-seen-or-imagined 39.5 week mark in what promises to be a 50-week pregnancy, I should be filling my time by writing insightful and witty blog posts on everything from the state of the Greek economy and the drama in the Tour de France to issues like pelvic separation in birth. So here is a list of what I have learned so far this day: 1. They looked through the diamond window in Play School today. And the day is only half-over, so I expect to learn even more before I go to bed tonight.

You can't fool me!

I received a booklet at my 36 week appointment at the hospital a fortnight ago, and it was the very same one I received three years ago containing this picture, about which I sarcastically blogged a short time later.

I laughingly tried to explain to the midwife all the objections you lovely commenters and I had to the picture back then.  However she wasn't expecting objections, and thought I was fully approving of it.  I had to use phrases like "structurally engineered bra" and "face washers for absorbancy" and "leakage to the knees" before she realised I had birthed enough children not to be taken in by the charade any longer.

And now I have another copy of the book.  Anyone want a free copy? No?