30 October 2012

Name that Mutation

"tonsillitis"

The word "tonsillitis" means an infection or inflammation of the tonsils.  My little guys get it occasionally in winter and it's easily cleared up with antibiotics.  (There is no indication that it would be appropriate to go whacking parts out of the children at this stage, that's not where I'm going with this.)

Tonsillitis seems to be more contagious than modern medicine realises, and it suffers more mutations than the text books would indicate.

I have noticed that if Jessie is unfortunate enough to get tonsillitis and have a day off school, the illness spreads quite quickly to Buzz.  However, it undergoes an important mutation before it does.  Once it reaches Buzz's little body, what used to be a strain of tonsillitis has in fact mutated to:

"asymptomatosis"

Asymptomatosis, observed and named by me, simply means:
• "a-" = without
• "-symptoma-" = observable symptoms
• "-osis" = a general condition, as opposed to "-itis" meaning inflammation or "-oma" meaning a mass.  Just a plain old "-osis."

More properly, the illness is referred to as "acute selective asymptomatosis."  "Selective" means it happens whenever Buzz pleases, and "acute" means it comes on suddenly in the morning when I say, "Go and find some school socks."

Once Asymptomatosis has infected poor dear Buzz, it spreads quite quickly to me.  It undergoes another critical mutation before it does.  Once the illness gets to me, it has mutated to:

"asymptomatata"

Sing with me: 
" Asymptomatata! ♪♫ I made up the phrase ... ♪
♪ Asymptomatata! ♫ It's a passing craze ... ♫
♫ I have no worries ♪ It's not a genuine sick day ... ♫♪♪"

Which basically means one or more of my children want to stay home without displaying any observable symptoms, and I couldn't give a toss.

4 comments:

Crazy Sister said...

Oh boy, I'm laughing and singing. What a fantastic song!

flask said...

this is very funny. i have nothing to add to it, but wanted to express my general appreciation for a bright spot in the day.

Sue Ellen said...

Thank you for the ear worm, which will be there all day and which I will be completely incapable of explaining to anyone without one or both of us sounding completely nuts. :D

Andi said...

I always called them "mental health days." Unfortunately, as they get older, the school work gets much harder to make up, and the punishment is sometimes not worth the crime. But enjoy them while you can!