Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Now what did I just say?

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

21 November 2011

Now what did I just say?

Woody was sitting quietly at the bench, watching me grate cheese. He had eaten the few little bits I had given him but I didn't want to spoil his appetite so I decided not to give him any more.

As I moved on to a new task, I placed the block of cheese on the bench in front of him, trusting him not to eat any. He is quite trustworthy, in an erratic, two-year-old sort of way.

He looked at the cheese, but didn't make a move towards it.

"Wow Woody," I said to him after a pause. "I really love that you're the sort of kid I can trust not to sink his teeth into that block of cheese right there."

Then Woody leaned forward, opened his mouth and went to sink his teeth deep into the block of cheese.

Sometimes, I think I am just giving him ideas.

9 comments:

Andi said...: He sounds ornery! I have an ornery one just like that! And FYI: It doesn't seem to be mellowing with age.; 21 November, 2011 03:25
Unknown said...: You are a bad influence! :); 21 November, 2011 06:13
Hippomanic Jen said...: Thanks for the giggle!; 21 November, 2011 11:05
Allegro ma non troppo said...: I can only imagine trying to chew a huge bite of cheese straight from the block.

I think it would be unsuccessful.; 21 November, 2011 12:22
tinsenpup said...: Yup, all they hear is "Blah, blah, blah, blah...sink your teeth into that block of cheese right there...blah, blah, blah..." ;); 21 November, 2011 13:05
B said...: Hee hee hee. So darn CUTE! What a great snapshot into family life. I love it.; 21 November, 2011 23:37
The Accidental Housewife said...: I was at a very fancy work dinner a while back, dead sober as I was very very pregnant with #2, but I got a terrible case of the giggles when my mate sidled up to the cheese table, picked up a whole round of posh cheese, took an almighty bite and then PUT IT BACK!!!

It appears it is not something one grows out of?; 22 November, 2011 14:35
Anonymous said...: You can't blame him. Who can resist cheese???; 24 November, 2011 20:53
Emily Sue said...: Maybe you need to try saying things like, "I love that you're the sort of kid I can trust not to put your toys away." Reverse psychology and all that.; 24 November, 2011 21:08

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

21 November 2011

Now what did I just say?

9 comments: