Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: Payoff

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

01 October 2011

Payoff - Five Haiku

Payoff – Five Haiku

Young boy thumb-sucking

Tonsillitis, runny nose,

Scratching itchy eyes.

Conjunctivitis.

Conjunctivitis. Then more

Conjunctivitis.

Antibiotics.

Antibiotics. Then more

Antibiotics.

Bout of oral thrush.

Bout of oral thrush. Then more

Bouts of oral thrush.

No more thumb-sucking!

I thought he’d never stop that!

Thankyou, oral thrush.

7 comments:

Heather said...: Ah yes, oral thrush. My kid had it for the first time by the age of three months, thanks to her predilection for licking EVERYTHING she could get her mouth upon. The anti-fungal medicine that was required was some nasty, nasty stuff, too.

*shudder*; 02 October, 2011 00:00
Andi said...: The up side to thumb sucking? They are the most content babies! The down side? Trying to make them stop!; 02 October, 2011 05:30
Catherine said...: What a COOL outcome!!!

Our lad who was a two-finger sucker, broke his arm when he was 3. Same outcome, he couldn't suck his fingers any more.

I think we may need to break our baby's arm when the time comes.
Or maybe have him contract oral thrush somehow?; 02 October, 2011 21:45
tinsenpup said...: Thank goodness for a silver lining, at any rate!; 02 October, 2011 23:29
Allegro ma non troppo said...: Goodness.; 03 October, 2011 12:28
Unknown said...: Bet you never thought you'd be glad for an illness!; 03 October, 2011 13:42
Selena said...: So my only options to stop my DD from finger-sucking is oral thrush or broken arm? Hmmm....which do I choose?!; 05 October, 2011 15:45

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.

My sweet niece ...

01 October 2011

Payoff - Five Haiku

7 comments: