07 January 2011

"Go for it!"

To be honest, our beach holiday only finished yesterday.  My last post was written as if our holiday was in the past tense, because I didn't want mythical thieves knowing we were not home and popping over (as if they knew our address!  I even photoshopped our house number out of the final photo in this post to be on the safe side - the number is supposed to be in between the two garage doors on the bricks there) ...

Where was I?  Oh yes.  I didn't want thieves who presumably know where we live popping over to ransack the place, finding nothing to steal, tripping over the Christmas stuff and deciding to stick around to do a spot of cleaning and tidying.  I would have felt guilty.

Anyway, I wanted to make a confession.  It's embarrassing.  I have only just realised that I talk things through when I'm out in the surf, waiting for a big wave.  As in, I talk out loud.  Go ahead.  Judge me.

Many times during our holiday I caught myself saying to nobody in particular, "Ooh, this wave looks good," and "Oh no it doesn't," and "What a wuss," this last referring either to the wave if it was small or to myself if the wave ended up being big and I failed to catch it.

I noticed that when huge waves were coming up, after pondering out loud about whether I should try to catch it or not, I'd shout out, "I want it!" before jumping off and swimming like crazy to catch it. Or, "Argh! I'm going to die!!" if it was bigger than expected, just before diving or ducking down to try to avoid being tossed around too much.

Predictably, after a while I noticed that people were looking at me.

Apparently, it's not good form to talk things through when you're swimming alone.

I should have thought about this before letting myself get overly verbal about the surf.  I found myself in an absurd situation one day involving a father and his kid on a bodyboard who were 10 metres further out than I was.  A big wave came and I knew I was, sadly, about 10 metres too far in to catch it, but I saw the dad getting ready to launch his kid off to catch it.  It looked like a good wave, and I couldn't help saying, "Go for it!" in their general direction.  Forgive me.  I was sort of imaging it was my kid, and I was encouraging him.

I probably would have got away with it if the dad and his kid hadn't bailed out of the wave at the last minute and instead of riding it to the shore, they were pushed 10 metres in by the swell.  They ended up floating right next to me.  I mean, literally two feet away.

There they were floating two feet away, looking at me, trying to determine:
(a) if I knew them,
(b) if I was saying, "Go for it!" to myself, or
(c) if I was just plain barking mad.

I did the only sensible thing.  I didn't make eye contact, and hoped they'd forget I'd just loudly encouraged them to "Go for it!"

It appeared that they were in no hurry to forget that a Strange Lady At The Beach had just shouted, "Go for it!" to them, and seemed in no doubt that I didn't in fact know them.  This only left the possibility that I'd shouted to myself or I was plain barking mad.  Both of these options of course equate to my being plain barking mad.

But my surfing self-talk continued unabated.  On a few of the days we found ourselves at Dicky Beach which many of you may know.  The beach is named after a shipwreck and the remains of the SS Dicky are still standing there today, greatly eroded since it was wrecked on the beach in 1893.

The surfing to the right of the wreck was pretty good, but the presence of the wreck seemed to have influenced me.  I noticed that as I floated in the water waiting for good waves, my commentary had taken on a distinctly Pirate-like accent.

"Arr, this be no good forr surrfin'," I'd say.  Then, "This be a good'un!" and I'd ride the wave in.  Once I was back out there, I told myself sternly that there was to be no more commentary but I couldn't stop myself.

"Arr, the seas be gettin' a bit rough," popped out of my mouth.  "Scurrvey!"  Then things got rougher.  "Arr, shiverr me timb ---" I shouted as I got dumped.  I spluttered to the surface only to be met with another wave, "Arr, pieces of eigh---"

I think I should always keep a friend, husband or child with me when I surf. At least then maybe people will think I'm talking to them.


sewfunbymonique said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Jen said...

I just can't get over how big your kids are getting.

They are such cuties. :)

Crazy Sister said...

This is SO FUNNY.

The last person I saw talking to himself was in the bra section of KMart. A man. Talking to himself. Looking at bras.

I gave him a very wide berth indeed.

Caitlin said...

Hee hee hee! I surf mutter. Only because I'm scared spitless and in fear of my life. Not such a big fan and in constant fear of being dumped!