Killing a Fly with a Ukulele: My 2006 Christmas Poem

I am the Mum.
If life was a circus, I would be the plate-juggling lady with monkeys on her shoulders who stands on one leg on a horse's back as it canters around the ring.

I am the Writer.
I use too many commas, dashes and dot-dot-dots, and I often start sentences with conjunctions because I like my blog to look the way it sounds in my mind.

I am the Hero.
Life is a bit like a superhero action comic, except that the superheroes are tiny children dressed in super-suits who possess no actual powers, while I just get them food, break up fights and clean their super-suits.

13 October 2007

My 2006 Christmas Poem

A Christmas Poem (with apologies to E.A. Poe)

In this Christmas season cheery, while my baby cuddles near, he
Hears the sound of crinkly paper coming from behind his door,
So he thinks, his hands a-clapping, “Someone’s there and they aren’t napping,
Someone there is present-wrapping, safe behind my bedroom door.”
Peering low, he crouches so he spies the feet upon the floor.
“Someone’s there, of this I’m sure.”

Celebrating, we’re all munchin’ some expansive Christmas luncheon,
Sharing gifts with those we love; we know God’s gifts to us are more!
Telling jokes with bon-bons snapping, piling up the Christmas wrapping,
After lunch we’ll fall to napping, trying to suppress a snore.
Backyard cricket: all the kids are trying hard to keep the score
(Problem is: they’re eight for four!)

Times like this, by way of reason, usher in the Christmas Season
And our thanks for Baby Jesus come quite swiftly to the fore.
Mark the diary, we remember: twenty-fifth of each December
Every precious fam’ly member has been blessed with so much more
Than salvation brought by merely keeping with the ancient law!
Jesus saves for Evermore!

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This is the story of me, Givinya de Elba, and my adventures with Mr de Elba, my children Buzz, Jessie, and Woody and our dog, Bullseye. We have plenty of good times, some weird times and a huge dose of drama.

Some of my posts are sad, lots are funny and sometimes I subject you to my pondering. We have our celebrations, when I write a decent poem I share it with you and when I'm held hostage, I do the occasional meme.

Other people who are special to me feature here too, some of them being my Dad, my Mum, my Crazy Sister (her blog), my Wee Brother and my good friend Hippomanic Jen (her blog).

I am a part-time speech pathologist, and try to cook, keep a garden alive and take photos that don’t make us look like we are pharmaceutically affected or dangerously homicidal.

I often suffer from Mumfail but I keep hanging on to the One who picks me up when I fall. If you email me, I’ll answer.

And if all that is too much, just read my “Best Of."

No, they didn't.

They called me Katherine.

I go by Kate.

I came up with the pseudonym Givinya de Elba in highschool and it was based on a joke from an episode of Dad's Army called 'A Soldier's Farewell.'

In the episode, after eating too much toasted cheese, Captain Mainwaring dreams he is Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. I don't remember much about the episode other than Mainwaring telling his loyal men (Jones, Pike and Godfrey) that he has been exiled to the island of Elba.

Jones quips, "Hence the expression - Givin' ya the Elber!" (giving you the elbow, i.e., pushing you around.) I thought that Givinya de Elba was a half-decent pseudonym for someone who likes to joke and push people around, and I stuck with that.