23 March 2012

Something has reminded me, and I thought I had to share...

If you have one, please comment with your worst/funniest nappy-change story.  You don't need to have copyright on the story or legal ownership of the child in question in order to post it.  I'll go first.

I won't mention which child was involved in this story, suffice to say I was quite inexperienced, and it happened many years ago.  Impenetrable barriers of confidentiality here.

I was woken in the middle of the night to change a child's wet nappy.  I had no contact lenses in, and therefore I couldn't see much.  I removed the wet nappy and put a dry one on, only to become aware that the child had dirtied it immediately. 

I sighed, removed the dirty nappy and put a clean one on.  Once that nappy was on, it became obvious that I'd changed it too quickly, and the child had finished the job by unloading the other half.  Dirty again.

I removed that nappy and I was too tardy in putting a clean one on.

The child weed.  Into my mouth.

Good story, no?  Now it's your turn!

11 comments:

The Accidental Housewife said...

My sister and brother in law had just arrived home from the hospital with their new bub, and dad took him in to change his nappy (his first time). Bub pushed hard and dad was splattered belly to hair. So was the bed and the wall! Dad was so traumatized he tried to opt out for all future changes. Mum "talked him round"...

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh that is bad. I think you might win already.

Mamma has spoken said...

My youngest was the projectile pooper. Yep, he was able to shoot it across the room every time you took his diaper off. Got to the point where you made sure you could get the clean one on in under 30 seconds because something about his butt being exposed to the air created the need to poop. Seriously, I would change him on the couch, and his brothers would hurry and leave the room, afraid that it might hit them. No one NO ONE would sit on the couch when you changed him either. There was always the fear......

Hippomanic Jen said...

I have none. But am quite happy to read everyone else's.

Givinya De Elba said...

I am more than happy to read any of anyone else's that you'd be willing to divulge!

Crazy Sister said...

I have similar stories. Changed before they were finished, too slow getting bits covered, etc. Worst was the explosion when a larger baby was sitting on my hip. We had to get in the shower fully clothed.

The funniest was my boy peeing a perfect arc over my arm and watering a pot plant, WITHOUT wetting anything else!

When my girl was 5 (and yes, still messing nappies, yay) she wouldn't lie still one day - kept wriggling and craning her neck to see.

"Is it GREEN?" she asked in excitement. "Cause I've been eating PLAYDOH!"

Crazy Sister said...

Foreign object coming through is fairly gross. String, ribbon, complete peas and grapes and sultanas/raisins, glitter, and, worst of all, Mummy's Long Hairs.

And why do we even eat multigrain bread? How can grains possibly do any good when they come through intact?

Let's do unclogging the toilet stories next...

Jodie said...

Here's one of my poo stories, for your reading pleasure.

Enjoy!

http://longlivedrock.blogspot.com.au/2007/09/car-poos-and-wee-small-hours.html

The Accidental Housewife said...

I had a bub-on-hip explosion yesterday at playgroup. I was wearing a white shirt, too :(
But since we live round the corner I raced out the back door and home, chucked on my other white tshirt and snuck back in. Totally got away with it!

Dawn Castor said...

Ewww. I had girls so not so many adventurous stories from them. But when I was about 10 I was staying with my aunt who had a new baby boy. I was changing him and noticed a string hanging from the ceiling. And then I heard a splatter on the mattress. And realized that string was wee with quite a bit of pressure behind it!!

Justamum said...

My funniest nappy changing incident is from my brother! My guys have made some crazy stories themselves but it is his that comes to mind! I was 11 and excitedly (and naively) changing my new born brothers nappy when suddenly he projectile pooed! I dived the the side but he got it all over me and the chair behind me! It was bright orange! You think it would have scarred me for life! Clearly not.