Good Self vs Bad Self

It could be Life, it could be Hormones.  It's probably both, neither of them having much respect for me at all.

At the end of a day like today, I wander around the house having an argumentative mental dialogue where my Good Self sounds like a diplomatic counsellor who is on the losing side, and my Bad Self sounds more and more like Basil Fawlty as the conversation goes on.

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Good Self:  Well.  So.  Hm.  How do you think today went?

Bad Self:  What is WRONG with you?  You were there!  YOU saw it!  How do YOU think it went?

Good Self:  Hmm. 

Bad Self:  Clearly, these three children and this new baby would do MUCH better if they had a better mother ...

Good Self:  Now don't start that again.  You know where that leads you.  You end up crying and then you cry until you vomit, then you vomit until you lose continence, then you have to wash all the bathmats in the ensuite.

Bad Self:  I REMEMBER that!  You don't need to REMIND me!  Do you seriously think that other women manage the sort of rubbish I have to put up with, while maintaining an even temper and keeping the house tidy at the same time?!?

Good Self:  Look, I'll be honest.  They all do.  But let's have a bit of a think about how things are going here, and see if we can improve on them for tomorrow.  Now I know the laundry can get you down at times ...

Bad Self:  Understatement.  Anyway, it's only out of control because I had a billion sheets and towels to urgently wash and dry in the wet weather because of the You-Know-What ...

Good Self:  Do I?  I don't recall ...

Bad Self:  I only signed up for PARENTHOOD!  Babies!  Nappies!  Children!  Homework!  Teenagers!  Buying lots of food!  I didn't ask for head lice!  I didn't ask for intestinal worms!

Good Self:  I've heard that those things all come together.

Bad Self:  [withering death stare]

Good Self:  Now, you do tend to get a little angry when the children say they have no clean shirts and you tell them to look in the basket of clean dry things on the laundry floor and they come back after 6 seconds claiming that there are no items of clothing in there for them...

Bad Self:  What is WRONG with them?  Even Visually-Impaired Frederick could see the shirts in the basket!!  Seriously, if I got a little HELP around here then maybe the clean stuff would be in little piles in their own rooms instead of in a communal basket on the laundry floor!!

Good Self:  We could aim a little higher than that you know - we could consider folding and putting things awa...

Bad Self:  WHAT?!?  I could spend hours of my day folding things and putting them in places that people will take them OUT OF?!?!?  HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?!?!?!

Good Self:  Oh-kay.  Now tell me about this pile of laundry.  And those three in there.  And that one too.  What stage are they up to?

Bad Self:  Oh, WHO COULD POSSIBLY KNOW?!

Good Self, becoming a little scared, and wishing there were a Panic Button in this dialogue:  Uh - well, if you don't know, I'm not sure ...

Bad Self:  [Sigh.]  They're all clean and dry.  That's partly why I'm so angry - I did too much laundry today.

Good Self:  Maybe we need to take a break and calm down a bit.

Bad Self:  Good idea.  I am going to self-medicate with some bourbon.

Good Self:  Uh - but you're pregnant ...

Bad Self:  TEA!  I SAID TEA!!!  WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN?!?!?!?!?!

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The next few months could well be long and difficult.

I achieved something! And now I can barely walk.

Today I did something - something beyond the usual stuff that doesn't get noticed!  I made a homework corner for Buzz and Jessie so we can keep their books spread out and keep tabs on their pencils and stuff.  In the process of this I swept, vacuumed, tidied toys, cleaned tables and a whole lot of other things.  Now, it seems I will soon be announcing the divorce or at least temporary separation of my sacrum and my ilium.  I can barely walk.  It's great.

I achieved nothing today

Today seems to have been a write-off. By 6:15pm there was no dinner, no ideas for dinner, and no ingredient combinations that offered potential for dinner. Ergo, today was a lost cause.

I achieved nothing.

Except I went to my Mum's house to pick up some laundry she had spirited out of my house a few days ago (thanks Mum!) So I did nothing except pick up some laundry.

AND I had coffee with a friend. Yes. I achieved nothing except picking up laundry and having a coffee with a friend.

AND I took Jessie for a check up at the school dental van! I did that. I achieved nothing except pick up laundry, have coffee with a friend and take Jessie to the dentist.

AND I did three loads of laundry. Sheets, mattress protectors, even a quilt. Don't ask. So really I achieved nothing except picking up laundry, having coffee with a friend, taking Jessie to the dentist and did three loads of laundry.

AND I served and cleaned up breakfast, morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea. I remember that. So really I achieved nothing except except picking up laundry, having coffee with a friend, taking Jessie to the dentist, three loads of laundry and served four meals.

And packed bags and lunchboxes for school. And picked up Buzz and Jessie after school. And washed some dishes. And a few other things. Gestated, for example.

But that's all.

I didn't prepare dinner. Funny how that can make one think one achieved absolutely nothing all day.

Three random things

1.  The days are flying by, and there is never much to blog about.  Buzz and Jessie head off to school each day and are enjoying it a lot, while Woody and I while away most of our days at home together.  They are good times, but there never is anything much bloggable going on.

2.  Today I had the opportunity to write three letters and as I love writing and wording things just right, I really enjoyed this.  Sure, they were letters regarding work and the Tax Office, but I enjoyed pushing and pulling the words until they were just perfect.

3.  I do really appreciate the work that The Rotary Club does in the community and I value our Rotarians greatly.  Their new project pictured below is a worthy one, but somehow, there's something terribly, badly wrong with their sign.

A Present

This Christmas, we told the children that there would be a present for the whole family on the fourth hook above the fireplace.  It took them a while to understand exactly WHAT the present was.

It was Buzz' job was to read the word on the fourth stocking and tell the others what it was.  "BABY?!" he demanded in a scandalised voice.  "What does 'BABY' mean?"  Then the penny dropped and he demanded in an equally scandalised voice, "Are you PREGNANT?!?!"  But when I said yes, he beamed and didn't stop beaming all morning.  Jessie was excited too and started to make plans for all the things she would do with her baby brother or sister.  Woody was excited because everyone else was excited.  After some explanations, he started lifting up my shirt and saying, "How baby doing?"

Baby doing fine, it seems!  Due in July, healthy and happy, and ... the thing that made me so worried about going after our dream of having a fourth baby ... the placenta is well clear of the "exit."  We are so relieved and thankful!

Toilet Training

Woody is doing pretty well MINUS nappies, PLUS Batman Undies.  I am pretty proud of him.  Today was the first day without any accidents at all - he has a policy of having one accident a day, so today was an achievement.

However some of the successful toilet trips involved some inaccuracies.  The poor little guy, despite trying his best to "point it down in" as he usually does, managed to wet his Batman undies, his shorts, his shirt, the mat on the floor, my capris, my shirt, and worst of all, his fringe (bangs).

Later in the day as I was reflecting on the wet hair, I realised that perhaps I should have washed his face at the time.  Poor little guy.

The honeymoon is over

School is wonderful and my children love it!

For the first two days.

Then the honeymoon is over.

One morning recently, I was dealing with three children who were all doing their own thing to make the school drop-off as difficult as possible for me.  They try this every day but on this particular day, they actually succeeded in nearly making me cry.

Buzz insisted on riding his bike to school, even though I had to drive the others.  I could tell he was going to be impossible about it, and what was I going to say anyway?  "No, you can't ride, it's too ... exercisey?"  "You are going to sit in the car and be driven to school, it's for your own good?"  So although he's not 100% road-safe and makes scary decisions with regard to crossing at times, I let him ride.  I followed him closely in the car so I could stop, get out and help with the crossings when needed.

Woody wanted to meet up with Buzz as soon as we got into the school carpark.  His mistake was choosing to walk towards Buzz riding up the hill via the extremely busy traffic-filled road.  I wasn't able to catch him until he had walked a scary distance away from the car, because I was too busy dealing with Jessie at that moment.

Jessie is the biggest offender with regard to The Honeymoon Period.  Two days of wonderful fun at school has been followed by a week or more of the most ridiculous displays of over-emotional suffering I have ever witnessed, despite ending each day with a huge smile and reports on how wonderful school is.

Each morning she tries a different ploy to be allowed to stay home.  This particular morning, it was feigning narcolepsy.

She pretended to fall asleep in her carseat and by the time we arrived in the school carpark, the only way I could get her from the car to the footpath was to lead her Weekend-At-Bernies-style by the hand from one to the other.

Help.

It's hard to see "Goodbye"

Reading and following blogs tends to result in making friends.  Even if you never meet in real life, even if you remain largely a 'lurker' on someone's blog you follow their joys and struggles, and feel like you've made a friend.

Sometime you walk beside people going through unimaginably difficult times, and you feel enriched by the emotional journey you walk as you pray with them and for them.

Then one day the title of a post in your Reader or Blogroll is simply "Goodbye."  It's hard to see that.

I along with those who 'knew' Susan Niebur am today asking God to receive her strong fighting spirit and give comfort to WhyDaddy, Widget and Little Bear as they grieve her death.

Susan, you are the strongest, most inspirational four-time-cancer-survivor/astrophysicist/mother I've ever known.  You enriched my life as you allowed me to follow your journey.  Thankyou, and Goodbye.

If you thought things at your house were boring ...

The most noteworthy thing to happen today was that I both vacuumed and mopped my floors. I also did many other things, but this vacuuming-and-mopping thing?  It was amazing! Usually, once I've vacuumed the large area of hard floor at my place, it all requires vacuuming again. I rarely get to the mopping stage, although the whole floor area does get done regularly because of the number of spills and gross things to happen on the floors. I spend a lot of time on hands and knees scrubbing small areas of floor which are bound to meet up.  So in effect, the whole floor should get done regularly, just never all at the same time.

The second most noteworthy thing to have happened today was the rapidity with which crumbs were dropped onto the clean floor.  I took a photo to prove that while patches of the floor were not yet dry, lamington crumbs were dropped under Woody's bar stool.

And that is how interesting my life is right now.  (But not complaining.)

Futile Housekeeping & Funny Faces