Both Jessie and Buzz:
- say "binoclears" for binoculars. I like this because it sort-of has the word "clear" in it, appropriate for something that helps you see distant objects clearly.
- say "amblyance" for ambulance. When Buzz was little, I had neglected to teach him how to call for emergency services for fear of abuse of the system by my small child. He came home from kindy proclaiming that he knew how to do it. When I questioned him he said, "I do. I dial zero-zero-zero and say 'Plice, fire or amblyance.'" This simultaneously filled me with confidence, and stripped me of it.
- say "compyanno" for "piano." I think young Buzz mixed "computer" and "piano" up when he was little and has never got out of the habit. He has now taught Jessie and they both say it. Mr de Elba and I sometimes do too, now.
- although he says "compyanno," he says "imputer" for computer. He thinks we're all wrong to put the "com" on the front, and possibly also thinks we're wrong when we leave it off "compyanno." He has on occasions had arguments with Jessie who has asserted it's "computer" only to be harshly corrected, "It's imputer!" followed by a fight.
- One day recently, just on sunset, Buzz and Jessie asked to play in the playground near our shopping centre. It was nearly dusk, the bitterly cold wind was whipping around us and they still wanted a little play. I told them that it would be a very short play. Buzz asked why, apparently unconvinced by the reasons of darkness and coldness. I told him that our last play was a long one, and this was going to be a short one. He smiled happily and said, "OH, that means our next one will be a long play. It's an A-B pattern." Thanks school. (A-B pattern = A-B-A-B, as in short play - long play - short play - long play. An erroneous assumption.)
- says "acksully-dently" for accidentally, as in the sentence, "I acksully-dently bit Dyofeff on the stomach." That is some claim.
- Jessie: Are rats allergic to water?
Me: Um no, nothing on earth is allergic to water.
Jessie: How about mice?