27 January 2009

Google Talk Messages with Crazy Sister

Me: How are you going today?

Crazy Sister: Do you ever get the feeling your brain is curled up just rocking back and forth in a corner of your head, banging its frontal lobe on your skull, maybe moaning a little?

Me: Yeah. You?

CS: Yeah. So how are you going today?

Me: Got a baditude. Managing to control strong evil desires, like going outside and shouting "I hate you!" to my neighbour when he shouts at his dog. I controlled that one today, but I am making no promises for tomorrow.

CS: you could claim Tourette's.

Me: What? "I hate you! Oh sorry, I have Tourette's." Come on.

CS: Just move.

Me: yeah okay, I'll move

CS: just post a sign in the yard.

Me: "Beware this resident has Tourette's?" Yeah, I can see that.

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Later
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Me: Have you heard of Hairy Lemon? [This is an effervescent lemon drink full of vitamins.]

CS: no. Is she a feminist?

Me: wha? no

CS: or an alcoholic drink?

Me: no

CS: rock band?

Me: no, Give up.

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Later
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Me: Playing hide and seek with Sonny today - he got in the blanket box IN FRONT OF MY EYES and I had to count and say COMING READY OR NOT and start guessing
so I guessed: are you in the tissue box, are you on the fan, are you in Smoochy's mouth... etc. He thought it was a great game! Easily pleased.

CS: that's hilarious

Me: He's good with Hide and Seek, you don't have to actually get up and look, you can just shout out "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, COMING READY OR NOT ARE YOU IN THE BLANKET BOX" and he says "YES" and he's perfectly satisfied and we play again. Sadly, usually the same hiding place.

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Later
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Me: Still chuckling at the image of a sign in my yard saying This Resident Has Tourette's and me on the balcony shouting abuse at people

CS: It's worth a shot. You're moving. Now's your chance.

16 comments:

Allegro ma non troppo said...

Aren't little people TERRIBLE at Hide and Seek? It's one of the funniest things to witness ever. All we have to do is muse, "Now, where is he?" and he shrieks, "Under the TABLE!"

tinsenpup said...

Then they suddenly catch on one day and you have a full blown panic attack, because you can't find them for 3.5 minutes and just as you start to come unhinged, they pop out grinning and you vow never ever to play hide and seek with them again. Or so I hear from those crazy, over-protective mothers anyway.

Tracy P. said...

The sign is cracking me up! You could add a new section to your Sidebar of Positive Thoughts: "Things I can get away with now that we're moving".

Speaking of the sidebar, I'm very proud of your growing list. You are a healthy woman. I think you are writing your own version of the Psalms.

John Ross Barnes said...

Love the sign. There are days when I should have one. I hold my tongue - an odd mental cartoon in itself... Horrid neighbors are, well, horrid.

My daughter used to like to hide in the closet and read. we'd let her stay in there for an hour, eventually go find her. wonderfuly odd child. once went to sleep UNDER her bed, that spooked the mom for about a half hour.

Jen said...

this right here is why I LOVE both you are your sister and I will always be one of your biggest fans. You guys rock! I so wish that I lived close to you 2, but I would probably die from laughter.

Unknown said...

I like when we play reverse hide-and-seek and I hide in the shower and they nEVER find me and eventually I realize they've sat down to watch tv and gave up on me.

Sassy Britches said...

SERIOUSLY. You should start being "that" neighbor. What do you have to lose?

And the two of you sisters need to take your act on the road. I'd pay money to see it.

Nauntie Lush said...

OH MAN!!! You have all the best stuff in AU. Hairy Lemon (which when Nana Tantrum sent me the link I thought was some sort of rotten fruit porn) which I totally need right now, and cool signs. AND SUNSHINE!!! And CS had that scruffy guy in a bar carry her parcels home for her when she was all preggers! OH man...I am moving...I am packing it up to get away from the WEATHERPOCALYPSE, and go where the fun is!

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

What a great post! You are so fortunate to be close to your sister and share the same fun together. That's so awesome!!

CynthiaK said...

OMG, you guys are hilarious. I was laughing out loud reading that.

Can she be my texting sister, too?

Hippomanic Jen said...

Oh you could have soooo much fun getting away with bad neighbour stuff right now!

Swift Jan said...

I want to see that sign next time I come over!! hehe....

Long dark hair, blue eyes said...

great sign!

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

hey, that's a great excuse. think I can post it on my twitter account and my blog too? and on facebook,come to think of it.

Allegro ma non troppo said...

It's probably a bit politically incorrect. I imagine real people with such a syndrome don't enjoy it very much and we shouldn't envy them their perceived vocal freedom, when it must be a rotton thing to have!

Just saying.

Dee said...

moving does have its advantages when it comes to bad neighbours, just mke sure they dont know your new address!